


Thank Heaven

by Sioux



Category: The Bill
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-28
Updated: 2012-03-28
Packaged: 2017-11-02 15:46:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/370667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sioux/pseuds/Sioux





	Thank Heaven

Down on your knees,   
And thank heaven, fasting, for a good man’s love.

Shakespeare – As You Like It Act 3, 5

Quietly Luke let himself into the flat. The total silence only seemed to underline how empty he felt inside. Walking slowly, like an old man, he hung his coat up and then came back into the lounge. He couldn’t bear the thought of food but a drink would go down well. He retrieved the bottle of whisky from its hiding place and collected a fresh glass from the cupboard. He poured himself a generous measure of the amber liquid and settled himself in one of the easy chairs. He hoped Kerry wasn’t serious about him leaving the flat as soon as possible. If she was perhaps he’d be able to rent a room from one of the others on the relief. An insidious voice in his mind whispered ‘Craig Gilmore has a spare room.’  
Now that would go down well with Kerry. To say she was cut-up that he’d slept with Craig on his stag night would be the understatement of the century, and if he rented his spare room that would look as if he had leapt straight from Kerry’s bed to Craig’s. It wouldn’t win him any brownie points with anyone. That was always assuming Craig let him within ten feet of his house. Given the way they had parted, Luke very much doubted that Craig would want to speak to him at all.

Luke took his wallet out of his pocket and fished out the bit of paper with a telephone number written on it. After his third large whisky he had almost worked up the courage to ring it. He tapped the digits in to his mobile ‘phone carefully, hesitating before putting in the last one and pressing ‘call’. Immediately he hung up, his courage deserting him. What a mess he was making of things. He did love Kerry, in his own way. Once she’d told him she was carrying his child he really did want to do his best to make the marriage work, for the baby’s sake. But now there was no baby. They could try again, once Kerry got over the after effects of the miscarriage and assuming she hadn’t meant it when she’s told him their relationship was over.

Resolutely Luke put his ‘phone away and poured himself another drink. He’d made the decision the marry Kerry, badly hurting a good man in the process, so the least he could do would be to make sure it worked.

Puzzled, Joe looked at his mobile ‘phone screen proclaiming ‘1 missed call’. He hadn’t heard it ringing at all over the noise of the pub. He checked the number and was even more puzzled, it wasn’t one he recognised. As it was coming up to midnight he decided against ringing the unknown caller back, opting, instead, for getting ready for bed.

 

Sitting alone at a table Luke stared morosely into his pint, resting his head on his hand. He looked the epitome of misery. He was completely oblivious to the noise and bustle all around him in the pub. A peel of laughter from across the room briefly seemed to jerk him into awareness. He took another gulp of his beer then replaced the glass on the table. A full pint glass was set beside his nearly empty one. It seemed to take a long time before Luke looked up.  
“You look like you could use another beer,” Joe said, looking down at Luke.  
Luke managed to rustle up a half-smile as he said,  
“Thanks.”  
“Mind if I join you?”  
“I’m not good company at the moment,” Luke warned him.  
“Is everything alright?” Joe asked, knowing it was a stupid question as soon as the words had left his mouth.  
Luke glanced up at him briefly before saying dryly,  
“Not exactly, no.”  
“Do you want to talk about it?”  
“No.”  
“OK. Shall I leave?”  
“Not if you don’t want to,” Luke replied softly.  
“So, do you think Arsenal has a chance for the cup this year?”  
Luke smiled at Joe’s attempt at conversation, looking up and meeting smiling blue eyes.  
“Didn’t realise you were a footie fan.”  
Joe chuckled, “I’m not, but I thought you might be.”  
“Good guess,” Luke replied.  
Football conversation lasted for the next few minutes whilst Luke finished his own pint and then started on the one Joe had bought him. Joe had been listening to Luke chat knowing there was something different about the other man but not able to put his finger on it, so to speak. As Luke lifted the glass to his lips again he noticed he was no longer wearing his wedding ring. That could easily explain his mood.

They talked for a while longer, Joe managing to make Luke laugh again. Before they knew it the bar man was calling time. Joe decided to test his half-formed theory.  
“Do you want another here or do you want to come back to my place for a drink? No strings!” he added quickly as Luke looked at him with suddenly wary eyes.  
Luke considered the offer. He did still fancy Joe and he could see the attraction was mutual. It wasn’t the same intensity of emotion as he’d seen in Craig’s eyes. No love but there was affection and certainly lust. Even that was better than nothing. It felt nice to be desired. It soothed him. After all, what had he got to lose?  
“OK.”  
“Pardon?” Now it was Joe’s turn to be wary.  
“OK, let’s go back to your place.”  
The smile on Joe’s face very nearly lit up the whole pub. Fifteen minutes later, Joe was ushering Luke into his home.  
“Go through,” he said, motioning the door on the right. “Do you want another beer or something stronger?” he asked, heading for the kitchen.  
“Beer’s fine,” Luke replied looking around the room.  
A couple of lamps had been left on which cast a warm glow over the room. A pair of navy blue leather chairs and sofa, in the same material, made the room seem welcoming. A huge TV dominated the room from one corner, that along with a rack of expensive looking sound equipment in the alcove next to the fireplace, drew Luke’s eye. It was top class gear as well, he noted.  
Joe came back, having cast off his jacket. He handed an opened bottle to Luke, who could hardly take his eyes off the stacks of CD’s underneath the audio equipment.  
“You like music?” Joe asked.  
“Yeah! Love it!”  
It was the most enthusiasm he’d shown all night.

Discussing the relative merits of various artists took them through another couple of beers as Luke’s knowledge and passion kept pace with his drinking. They both had their heads together looking at a CD, checking if the track they were talking about was on that album or an earlier one. Luke crowed delightedly when he found it listed.  
“There! Told you!” he said, giving Joe a quick kiss on his lips.  
Joe drew back, surprised.  
“Oh! I’m sorry,” Luke apologised, blushing fiercely.  
“It’s alright,” Joe replied gently turning Luke’s face towards him with his fingertips and kissing him back. To his delight Luke responded to him, deepening the kiss, flickering his tongue against Joe’s lips, demanding entry, his arms going around the other man as if he was trying to get inside his skin. Joe allowed himself to enjoy this for a few minutes but when Luke had unbuttoned Joe’s shirt and moved onto kissing his throat he guiltily remembered his ‘no strings’ promise.  
“Luke,” he whispered, out of breath and very turned on. “You don’t have to do this.”  
“I want to, “Luke replied, momentarily stopping the kiss and looking into Joe’s eyes. Quickly he skinned himself out of his sweater and returned to undressing Joe.   
Pure lust blossomed in Joe like some exotic night-blooming jasmine. The heat and prickling scent of male arousal ignited Luke, spreading honeyed fired through his veins. Neither of them had any clear recollection of exactly how they had gone from fully dressed, sitting in front of the fire, to, naked, and lying on the sofa. Joe spread his legs slightly letting Luke lie between them, both thrusting against the other, feverishly hunting for completion. Joe looked up at his lover. Luke’s skin gleaming in the lamp and firelight, his dark hair plastered to his skull and his eyes closed as he moved, made him look like some profane image of a medieval saint being tortured for his faith. Joe pulled Luke’s hips closer to his own, pushing against the other’s rigid flesh trapped against him. The friction mind blowing against his own hardness as they joined together in a dance as old as time itself. Luke’s mouth opened in a gasp then his face screwed up at the same moment Joe felt himself bathed in warm fluid. He gave one last thrust and followed Luke into temporary oblivion.  
When he returned to awareness a few minutes later, not only was there a rapidly cooling wet patch on his groin but one on his neck too. And Luke, lying full length on top of him, was heavier than he looked.  
“Luke?”  
A quick movement of a hand wiping his face before he replied,  
“Yes?”  
“What is it? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”  
Luke shook his head and sniffed.  
With a blinding flash of insight Joe thought he had the answer.  
“Kerry wouldn’t stop you seeing the baby if she knew you’d been sleeping with me, would she?”  
Joe realised it had obviously been the wrong thing to say when Luke started sobbing quietly against his neck.  
“Luke, tell me what’s wrong,” he pleaded.  
Joe thought he heard, in the tear thickened voice, “No baby.”  
“No baby?” he questioned. “She wasn’t pregnant after all?”  
Luke shook his head. He took a deep breath then said,  
“I told her I’d slept with Cr..., with a man before we got married. She wanted to have the pregnancy terminated but I talked her out of it. Then she had a miscarriage. Our baby died anyway! And then she told me our relationship was over and she wanted me to leave.”  
Joe closed his eyes, trying to shut out the pain he could hear in Luke’s voice. He tightened his arms around him and held him.  
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Luke.”  
He knew Luke was in no fit state to hear anyone telling him it was probably for the best.  
“When did all this happen?” he asked, at length.  
“I moved out a couple of days ago. Kerry lost the baby nearly three weeks ago.”  
Wordlessly Joe held Luke and let him cry his grief onto his shoulder. He stroked his hair and rubbed soothing circles on his back until he began to quieten.  
“Do you want to stay the night?” Joe asked quietly.  
“What time is it?”   
“Nearly half past two,” Joe replied, glancing at his watch.  
Luke nodded. “You don’t mind?”  
“I wouldn’t have asked if I did,” Joe smiled. “Come on.”  
He led Luke upstairs holding his hand like a child. He let him settle into bed whilst he used the bathroom before sliding between the sheets. He turned to face Luke and gathered him to himself. Willing and grateful, Luke went into the embrace. He found Joe’s lips in the dark and kissed him.  
“Thank you,” he said softly.  
Luke felt Joe’s mouth curve into a smile as he answered.  
“Oh, it was my pleasure, believe me!”  
Luke smiled with him then kissed him again, electric wings of desire lightly brushing his skin. So far the sex had been fantastic and he was definitely ready for more and from the feel of things, so was Joe.  
Joe reached behind himself to switch the bedside lamp on.  
“No, don’t!” Luke said.  
“I want to see you!”  
“Leave the light off please. Just for now.”  
Joe sighed then relented. Unless Luke was winding him up, it sounded like there may be more than tonight. In which case, Joe could bide his time. He leaned in to snatch a quick kiss, in acquiescence, then moved his lips down Luke’s smooth cheek to his throat, licking and nipping. Luke moaned his appreciation, even more so when Joe’s fingers found his nipples and began to tease. When his hot mouth descended onto his sensitised flesh Luke couldn’t hold back a groan of sheer pleasure. His body felt like one huge exposed nerve ending, tingling and alive.  
Joe nosed his way south, the smell of musk from their earlier encounter very strong. He kissed his flat stomach, licking in the hollows of his hips, sending shivers of anticipation through Luke’s body. He drew his tongue from root to crown then without warning engulfed him and sucked hard. Luke yelled in reaction, his back arching. God, that felt so good!   
Another memory intruded of the one and only time when it had felt even better than now. A time Luke had denied remembering, saying he’d been drunk. Yes, he had been drunk but his memory of that night was perfectly clear. Craig’s hands and mouth on him, all over him, loving him, giving him such ecstatic bliss he’d lost count of the number of times Craig had brought him to the edge then eased him down again. Over and over. Gentle and terrible and wonderful. Firmly he shut those memories away. That would never happen again, another man was pleasuring him now, giving him his undivided attention. It seemed ill-mannered to be imagining Joe was someone he may never see again.   
Joe had put something slick on his hand and was patiently working his hand under Luke. He shifted, curious, willing to try anything now. His eyes opened wide and he stopped moving when the tip of a finger penetrated him. Joe cast a glance up at his stilled figure but continued swirling his tongue over the sensitive head of his erection, then he took him into his mouth again, the burning wet heat and suction almost too much to bear, the finger inside him mimicking the movement of Joe’s mouth before the tip of Joe’s finger touched something inside Luke, something which radiated tendrils of excitement along all his nerve endings making him writhe ecstatically on the impaling finger. He tried to warn Joe, feeling his orgasm gathering energy, his balls pulling up tight and close to his body, then it was thundering through him, smashing his consciousness into bright, stabbing whirls of colour.

Conscientiously Joe licked him clean then wriggled up to lie beside his partially awake bed partner. Luke’s chest was heaving and he was bathed in sweat, blindly he turned to Joe kissing him hard. He tasted different, salty and musky, essence of male. His stubble was beginning to scratch Luke’s face, the sweat getting into the minute skin breaks and making his face sting and tingle. Joe was squirting something onto his hands, cool and silky. Lubricant. Joe put Luke’s hands together between his own to warm the gel, then guided his hands, telling him, without a word being spoken, how he wanted to be touched, how much pressure to use, how to move his hands on him to bring him his own release.

Whilst Joe was recovering Luke padded into the bathroom, cleaning himself up then bringing back a wet cloth and dry towel for Joe. Sleepily, Joe used both, dropped them at the side of the bed, then snuggled into Luke’s side, falling sleep almost immediately.  
Luke lay awake for some minutes thinking. Joe was nice, the sex was great and he could be an amusing companion. He liked him. The cold, empty space inside clawed at him briefly then shut up. Like the song said, two out of three ain’t bad.

 

Gina looked at her watch and hurried a little more. She hoped Craig was in a forgiving frame of mind. Well he certainly had seemed to be when she rang him and asked him out for a drink. It was an attempt, on her part, to apologise for forcing him to lie, when he was lying injured and emotionally eviscerated in a hospital bed. However, forgiving or not, arranging to meet him for a drink and then being almost an hour late was not the way to win back a friend and influence people!   
Craig was feeding a fruit machine when she burst into the pub.  
“Craig I’m so sorry!”  
He turned around and looked at her flustered face, his expression forbidding then broke into a smile.  
“Don’t worry about it. You’ve not exactly been keeping me from anything exciting. Something come up?”  
“Yeah, give me a minute to get a drink and I’ll tell you about it. What are you on?”  
He held up his bottle as she fought her way through the crush at the bar. He leaned against the wall next to the fruit machine, idly scanning the rest of the customers. It was fairly crowded with after work drinkers, another hour and it would thin out a little before filling up again with drinkers who would be there for the whole evening. It wasn’t his usual kind of place either, Gina had chosen the venue to meet. Craig suspected it was because she didn’t want him running into any of the crowd from Sun Hill whilst he was still recuperating from the beating he’d received. A man on the opposite side of the room caught his eye and smiled. He was grey-haired although he looked younger than himself. He also looked faintly familiar. Craig half smiled back but did nothing further to attract his attention. He knew his heart wouldn’t have been in it and anyway the way the chap kept looking at the door every time it opened, it was a safe bet he was waiting for someone and they were late.  
“There you are,” Gina said handing him an opened bottle and touching her glass to it, before taking a healthy swallow. “I needed that,” she sighed, savouring the taste.  
“Busy day?”  
“You can say that again. One meeting after another, all of them over running and all of them could have had the agenda sorted out in half the time if the people running them didn’t like the sounds of their own voices so much!”  
Craig grinned appreciatively. Sometimes he was glad he was just a lowly Sergeant, all he had to deal with, most of the time, was paper admin.  
“How’s the rest of the relief?” he asked, casually.  
“Usual ups and downs. I take it you’ve heard about Kerry?”  
He nodded. “Poor woman. She seems to have gotten over it well.”  
“Not sure about that. I think she came back to work a bit quick. Her work is pretty good though, wrapping the gang rape case up well….” Gina continued commenting on Kerry’s current work but Craig had stopped listening.  
The door had swung open and Luke Ashton had sauntered into the pub, making a beeline for the grey-haired man who had been smiling at Craig, waving what looked like a pair of tickets at him. The man laughed as he caught the tickets and read them. Luke reached out and touched his arm, a harmless gesture but his body language betrayed him. In an instant Craig knew Luke had been, and probably still was, intimate with the man. This was Luke’s new boyfriend. Then he remembered who the man was, Joe, Joe Kincaid, the man who had been trying to chat up Luke when they were searching for Eva’s daughter. It seemed he’d more than succeeded. Craig felt like he’d been kicked in the stomach. When he’d heard on the grapevine that Kerry had kicked Luke out a few weeks previously he had been waiting for a telephone call or a visit but nothing had happened. Now he knew the reason why. He’d made a fool of himself over Luke at Sun Hill and continued to do so by still holding a candle for him. Luke had used him and Kerry. It seemed Kerry was the smart one, she’d woken up to what her husband was like far quicker than he had.  
“Craig! Are you alright?” Gina asked sharply, noticing the look of dawning horror on his face. She looked over her shoulder and saw what Craig had seen. She closed her eyes and swore, volubly, under her breath. That was one thing Craig did not need right now. As she watched, Joe put his empty glass down and followed Luke out of the pub. She turned back to Craig. His face had paled and he somehow looked to have visibly deflated in the last few seconds.  
“Sorry Gina, I’ve got to go,” he muttered putting his bottle down and trying to get past her.   
Gina was having none of that. She took his arm firmly, picked up his drink and pushed him through a door to his right, outside onto a small terrace which was set with a few chairs and tables, all of them deserted as it was really too chilly to be sitting outside in the pitch dark.  
“Sit down!” she ordered. “And don’t move.”  
Numbly he sat whilst she quickly ducked back inside for his coat. She found it easily and brought it outside, oblivious to the smirking looks she was getting from a few of the patrons.   
“Here, put it on.”  
Craig obeyed like a tractable child. She sat at his side and pulled him into her arms. He didn’t say a word, just rested his head on her shoulder. She could feel him shuddering, as if his heart was beating so hard it was shaking his frame.  
“Craig I am so sorry. I didn’t know he was seeing anyone else, otherwise I would have told you first.”  
She felt him nod but still he was silent. After a few minutes he pulled away and sat up. Gina saw streetlight reflected in tear tracks on his face. He’d been silently crying. She felt a sudden, overwhelming desire, to separate Ashton’s head from his body.  
Craig wiped his face with his hands. Gina searched her coat pocket for a packet of tissues and handed them to him.  
“Thanks,” he said.  
He sounded so weary Gina’s heart went out to him.  
“Do you mind if we call it a night? I don’t really feel like eating.”  
Gina was at war with herself. She wanted to protect Craig but she also wanted him to come out fighting. He was starting to sound like a defeated old man who has no hope left.  
“Yes, Craig. I do mind if we call it a night! I want to keep in touch with you, I came out tonight to have more alcohol than is good for me, a meal and a chat with you, and I’ll be damned if I’ll let that selfish little shit Luke Ashton, stop me!”  
Craig jumped, startled. He’d been expecting mild acquiescence not outright aggression.  
“Make no mistake about this Craig, you are far too good for him. He uses people for his own ends, he lies and he cheats. Apart from a pretty boy face and a good body, what else does he have?”  
A stunned sigh was forced out of him by Gina’s rather bald assessment of Luke’s character.  
“Well put like that, apart from the physical, he doesn’t seem to have a lot going for him.”  
“Good, glad to hear it.”  
“But it’s not as simple as that though, is it?”  
“No. I only wish it were,” she replied, her voice softening slightly. “He’s lost me a bloody good officer, for that I will never forgive him,” she said venomously.  
“Don’t Gina,” he said reaching out and holding onto her hand. “It’s partly my fault too. He was just experimenting with me, finding out if he liked it. He kissed me, he didn’t may any undying promises to me.”  
“He kissed you? He initiated the contact?”  
She saw Craig nod in the dark. If Luke had initiated the first contact, chances were he’d initiated the others too. Gina’s pursed her lips and brought down all manner of imprecations on Ashton’s head. He had started all this, leading Craig on and then kicking him in the teeth and still Craig was protecting the little shit! Briefly she called to mind a list of the worst jobs in the nick and made a mental note to make sure Ashton got to do every one of them before the month was out.  
“Alright then, let’s get to another pub and start again,” Craig said, suddenly.  
“Right, you’re on!” Gina agreed, very pleased Craig was making a huge effort to move on. She squeezed his arm and stood up. “I think we can get out through here, can we?”  
“Looks like there’s a gate at the end there.”  
“Probably got a ruddy great padlock on it,” Gina groused.  
“Not to worry, I can give you a bunk up.”  
“In your dreams Gilmore, in your dreams!”

The next place was more a wine bar than a beer place, so they didn’t stay after the first one. They crossed the road to a place which was more to their taste. They had a couple in there then Gina led the way around the corner and into a tiny alleyway. Craig raised his eyebrows but didn’t say anything, he trusted Gina to know where she was taking him. She went through a small door, confidently climbing the stairs to a dingy landing at the top. Those looked like they could be fun later on if they were going to be drinking with the meal, Craig thought to himself. She pushed open another door at the top of the stairs and held it open for him. The transformation was nothing short of miraculous. Compared to the entrance the dining area was clean, well decorated and the smell of food very appetising.   
Craig surprised himself by actually enjoying his meal. Gina was a good companion, her barbed wit he found very entertaining. By the end of the evening, which was at Craig’s place, over a decent malt, he had expected to be feeling very depressed but he wasn’t. It had been a big shock seeing Luke and Joe together but somehow it had also been a point of closure. Perhaps it had really begun when he was lying in a hospital bed, hurting and alone, or even before that, maybe when Luke had told Craig Kerry was pregnant. Whenever it had begun to happen he now knew he was ready to move on. He would always have a soft spot for Luke, he could still make his heart beat faster, but he also knew he wouldn’t ever be duped quite so easily again by someone like him, which could only be a plus point.

 

Several miles away, whilst Craig was thinking all this through, the object of his ruminations was settling down to sleep with Joe.  
“Luke?”  
“Mmm?”  
“What was the name of the Sergeant at Sun Hill, the good looking one?” Joe asked.  
“I’ll need a bit more than that,” Luke replied sleepily.  
“Tall, broad, brown eyes you could drown in, slight Welsh accent.”  
“Gilmore!”  
“That’s him. I couldn’t think of his name, it’s been annoying me all night.”  
“What made you think of him?” Luke questioned, feeling suddenly very wide awake.  
“I saw him in the pub just before you came in.”  
“What?”  
“He was having a drink with Inspector Gold.”  
“She was there as well?” Luke asked, appalled.  
“What is the problem? They can drink anywhere they like, can’t they?”  
Luke remained silent for a beat debating whether to tell Joe.  
“Craig Gilmore is the man I slept with the night before I married Kerry,” he said quietly.  
“Oh! You must have seen him after you got married, though?”  
“Yeah, we worked together so it was inevitable. It’s a long story. He took over for me for a few minutes when I was guarding a prisoner at St Hughes and got badly beaten up by a couple of thugs, then he requested a transfer to get away from me.”  
“You didn’t tell him you’d split up with Kerry?”  
Luke shook his head. “He probably knows. The grapevine is very efficient!”  
“Why didn’t you want to see him again?”  
Luke shrugged. “Don’t know. Didn’t think he’d want to talk to me after the way I hurt him.”  
“Do you think he still has feelings for you? He looked pretty thunderstruck when he saw you walk in.”  
Luke closed his eyes remembering when Craig had said, “I love you.”  
“I doubt it. I don’t want to talk about this any more,” he said, turning over away from Joe.  
“OK,” Joe sighed. He would have been quite happy to pursue that particular topic. His emotional radar was telling him there was unfinished business between Luke and Craig Gilmore. Until it was brought to a close Joe knew he wouldn’t ever get all of Luke, there would always be some part of him withheld. And Joe found it difficult to live with just a part of someone.

 

“Bloody ‘ell! How many has he invited?” Craig asked as he and Gina turned the corner and saw people spilling out onto the street from the garden flat.  
“Look’s like he’s got most of Nab end, Barton street and half of Sun Hill in there!” Gina replied, also amazed at the number of people who had been invited to the flat warming.  
“I think we should have brought some more booze,” Craig said, looking down at the half a case of red wine they had fetched with them.  
“It’ll be fine,” Gina said, striding forward. “Steven! How are you?” she shouted to the young man on the edge of the crowd. “Here you are, cards from Craig and myself. Where can we stash this lot?”  
“Thanks Gina, Hello Craig. Fight your way through to the kitchen, that’s where the rest of the stuff is, there’s some food in there as well,” he told them.  
They descended the stone stairs in through the side door and through the throngs of people standing inside talking and drinking. Progress was slow as they stopped to greet various friends and colleagues on the way past.  
Every surface in the kitchen held either food or drink. Gina had trouble finding a place to put their contributions.  
“I don’t think you need to worry about the booze running out!” she said loudly. Craig laughed and nodded. “You going to start with wine?” she asked.  
“Please!”  
“This is going to be a great start to your holiday Craig,” Gina said, raising her voice over the noise. “You may not even be sober by the time you fly!”  
Craig laughed again. “That’s certainly the intention of a few of the lads,” he agreed.  
“How many are going?”  
“Ten, I think! It keeps changing.”  
“It should be a riot, ten rugby players for ten days of sand, sea, sangria and sex.”  
“Most of us are ex-rugby players now," Craig corrected ruefully. "The rest of it is hopefully accurate though,” Craig replied lifting his eyebrows.  
“Somehow I didn’t have you down for the eighteen thirty type holiday.”  
“Normally you’re right, but it’s a chance to meet up with the lads from back home so, what the hell?”  
“Enjoy!” Gina toasted him with her glass.  
Craig touched his glass to hers then saw an old colleague he hadn’t seen for ages. He made his excuses and went off to talk to him.

Dusk was falling, the air was getting cooler but the party was still in full swing. Craig, in common with the rest of the partygoers, had had a lot to drink. He was really enjoying himself too, chatting with colleagues he hadn’t seen for a good while as well as celebrating the start of fourteen days leave. Even when Gina had to leave he stayed on. He was back in the kitchen filling up his glass with red wine when he got the unmistakable feeling someone was staring at him. He looked up to find Luke standing in the doorway, gazing at him mesmerised, a glass of white wine in his hand. They locked eyes, neither able to look away until someone jogged Craig’s arm. He licked the spilled wine from his fingers, grabbed the rest of the bottle and headed out to the garden, away from Luke. Outside there was more chance of keeping out of Luke’s way, as it was getting dark and Steven hadn't installed garden lighting. Somehow the urge for conversation had left him. He swallowed the next two glasses of wine rather too quickly, the alcohol going straight to his head. Leaning against a concrete post in the garden seemed to be the safest thing to do, until the world stopped spinning quite so much. He closed his eyes and took a couple of deep breaths.  
“Hi.”  
He didn’t even need to open his eyes to know who was speaking to him. He looked at Luke standing just in front of him.  
“Luke,” he replied evenly, his heart beating rather too fast.  
“You’re looking well.”  
“Thanks, so are you.”  
Luke smiled up at him.  
“You been here long?”  
“Quite a while. Joe with you?”  
Luke shook his head and dropped his eyes.   
An awkward pause ensued then they both began to speak at once.  
“I was sorry to hear….”  
“How are you enjoying…”  
They both stopped and laughed self-consciously.  
“Go on,” Craig said.  
“No, you first.”  
“I was just going to say I was sorry to hear about the baby, and everything, that’s all.”  
“Thanks. How are you enjoying your new nick?”  
“Fine thanks. Feel like I’ve been there a lot longer than I have.”  
”Yeah? Is the work that different?”  
“Not too different from Sun Hill. Different personalities in the relief, of course.”  
Craig carried on talking shop, desperately aware of the uncomfortable silence if either of them stopped speaking.   
Luke was spending his time listening with half an ear and soaking up the sight of Craig with the rest of his mind. He did look good. He’d lost some weight and looked very fit and well. The loose shirt and stone coloured chinos suited him, skimming his figure and displaying it to advantage. Luke took a sip of his wine, his mouth abruptly dry with incipient lust. Next to Craig he felt a little too casual in a vest top, open shirt and jeans. Even after six months and everything which had happened, seeing Craig again still made him want the other man’s approval. He desperately wanted to be noticed and desired by him. He wondered if Craig still found him attractive or had his unforgivable behaviour turned him off for good. He badly wanted to find a way of finding out, then he saw his opportunity. Craig had been nervously drinking a lot, the bottle he’d brought out with him was empty and his glass was nearly so. Luke stepped forward very close to Craig, who didn’t step back.  
“Let me get you another,” he said softly, taking the glass out of his hand and touching his fingers and the palm of his hand at the same time. Craig swallowed hard, not even thinking of speaking.  
Luke trotted off up the garden, silently snarling at all the people still standing outside. There were far too many people out here for him and Craig to have the kind of conversation he wanted. Quickly he filled up both glasses and shot out to the garden again. For a second Luke panicked, Craig wasn’t where he’d left him, then he saw him trying to make his unsteady way out of the side gate.  
“Craig, where are you going?”  
“Sorry Luke, I think I’ve had far too much to drink. I’m going home,” Craig replied, slurring a little.  
“Do you mind if I share a cab with you. It’s winding down anyway,” he lied. He wasn’t going to let Craig go now.  
Craig was too drunk to think that Luke lived nowhere near him, he just nodded slightly, rather grateful when Luke took his arm and guided him out of the garden.  
Luke hailed a cab and got Craig settled in. He gave his own address to the cab driver. It was a measure of how far gone Craig was as he didn’t object or question where they were going.   
Getting him out at the other end was easier than Luke had thought. He got his inebriated guest into his flat and decided that putting him to bed to sleep it off for a while would probably benefit them both in the long run. Luke helped him unbutton his shirt and as he was taking off Craig’s shoes and socks Craig asked, very carefully and politely,  
“Could I have some water please?”  
“Sure!”   
Quite happily Luke went off to the kitchen and returned with a pint glass of cold water. Craig drank half the glass in one go whilst Luke finished getting his socks off. He looked up to find Craig was gazing at him as a cat would gaze at a king. He blushed but returned his regard. Unsteadily Craig reached out and cupped his cheek, rubbing his thumb across his cheekbone. Luke turned his head into the caress and kissed the palm of Craig’s hand. Craig smiled slightly at him, keeping his hand on his face until Luke got to his feet.  
“Stand up a minute,” Luke said, helping the taller man to his feet and taking the empty glass off him.  
Craig swayed a little but remained upright. Luke pulled the duvet back, then turned his attention to undoing Craig’s trousers. Craig blinked at him owlishly but didn’t say a word when being divested of his boxer shorts as well as his trousers. Luke guided him back to the bed and encouraged him to lie down in the middle of the bed. He covered him with the duvet then sat beside him. Again Craig reached up to touch his face, still totally silent. Luke leaned into the touch feeling the ice cold place inside him began to thaw and warm. Craig’s fingertips trailed electric currents where ever they rested on his skin. He made no move to lay his hands anywhere other than his face but even that was enough to arouse a powerful response in Luke.  
“Kiss me?” he asked softly, leaning over Craig.   
Craig’s fingers traced the shape of his mouth, his dark eyes soft and vulnerable. He gently touched his mouth to Luke’s in the softest and most delicate of kisses. It was Luke who pressed the advantage, kissing him harder, trying to force his lips to open, wanting to taste him. He moaned when Craig opened his mouth for him. Giant butterflies romped in his stomach as liquid fire bloomed there and spread out making him hot and his clothes abruptly very constricting. He was painfully hard in seconds. Quickly he pulled back, taking off his vest and shirt in one, heeling off his shoes and ditching his jeans and boxers in short order. Then he slid under the duvet next to Craig, kissing his cheeks, his nose, his eyelids working his way down to his lips wanting to taste him again, his hands carding through his chest hair, his thumb finding a nipple and teasing it, raising it to a proud fleshy peak.   
“Oh Craig, I’ve missed you!” Luke whispered in his ear, then kissed down his neck.   
In his fairly brief relationship with Joe their sex life had been good, but there was always the sense of something missing, a place in his heart which always stayed icy-cold, no matter how hot the action in bed. That was really the reason he and Joe had stopped seeing each. Joe could not tolerate having only part of Luke. Now Luke knew he’d found what had been missing; that sense of being with his other half whenever he was near Craig. Luke licked Craig’s nipple then unable to help himself, he nipped it with his teeth, raising a grunt from Craig, then sucked hard. A slight tang of sweat mixed with the scent of soap and a unique essence of Craig dizzied his senses. He was breathing heavily totally caught up in own sensuous world so it was a little while before a peculiar noise impinged on his mind. A strange, rhythmic, buzzing sound, quite close by. Luke lifted his head from the flesh he had been happily worrying in order to listen. It took him a few second to work out the sound coincided with Craig’s inhalations. His deep, regular and totally relaxed inhalations.   
“Craig?”  
Craig’s eyes were closed, his arm, which had been draped over Luke, shifting to fall to the bed. He was fast asleep and snoring.  
Luke took in the disconcerting sight for a few seconds before smiling ruefully, seeing the funny side. So much for his sneaky attempt to take advantage of a rather drunken Craig Gilmore! He was still painfully hard even though his potential partner had succumbed to slumber. Taking a handful of tissues from the box on the bedside he took care of the problem himself, between the sight of Craig in his bed and his own imagination, it didn’t take long. He cleaned himself up, flushing the soiled tissues away then padded back to bed. After lying in the dark for a few minutes he decided as much as he adored Craig, he couldn’t stand that noise in his ear all night. He pushed at the bigger man’s shoulder while saying,  
“Craig, turn over.”  
Someone had obviously trained him well as he obediently turned onto his side, the snoring stopping immediately. Despite the warmth of the night Luke curled up around Craig and followed him into the land of nod.

 

Craig woke up with a throbbing head and a deep sense of disorientation. He was lying in a nice comfortable bed, in a room he didn’t recognise and he had very little recollection of the evening before. A pint glass of water was standing on the bedside table with a packet of painkillers. A note wrapped around the packet said simply, ‘Thought you might need these. We can finish what we started last night, after my shift, hopefully. I’ll see you later, love Luke.’  
Craig read the note and closed his eyes as the memories came rushing back. Oh no! He’d got hideously drunk at the party, tried to get away from Luke but Luke had followed him and taken him home, Luke’s home not his own. He also had a vague recollection of being undressed and put to bed, too. He wasn’t sure if the rest of his memory was true or just his imagination. He re-read the note and groaned. From the sound of that it hadn’t just been his imagination he really had been kissing Luke Ashton with unabashed enthusiasm. The sun streaming through the curtains told him it wasn’t early morning either. Looking at his watch he found it was after eleven in the morning and he was due on an afternoon flight to Spain. As quickly as possible without jarring his aching head and churning stomach he got out of bed, found his clothes neatly folded up on a chair and got dressed. He sat on the side of the bed for a few minutes trying to think of what to say. In the end he settled for a quick, non-descript message. He had no intention of seeing Luke Ashton again, it was far too painful and he had just got his life back, after the last time.   
‘Thanks for looking after me,’ he wrote, ‘Catch you later, Craig.’

 

Luke bounced into his flat after his shift.  
“Craig? Craig, are you still here?”  
The flat was empty. He found the note with the untouched water and the neatly made bed. He’d probably gone home to get changed, he thought to himself. Taking out his mobile he rang Craig’s mobile, but got the answering service so he tried his home number and got the answer phone. He’d know what time his shift finished, Luke reasoned, so he was probably on his way back. He took a quick shower and made himself a coffee whilst waiting for Craig. By ten thirty, after several more fruitless telephone calls, he realised Craig wasn’t coming back to him tonight. Very disappointed he went to bed, alone.

Almost the first thing Luke did when he awoke was call Craig's mobile number. Again, he got the answering service, then he called his house, and, once again, got the answer phone. By now Luke was getting a bit worried. It wasn’t like Craig to be out of reach. He was a very responsible man who took his life as a police officer seriously. At the end of his shift Luke went out of his way and called at Craig’s house. Craig’s car was parked outside but there was no answer to his repeated knocks on the door. After five minutes of waiting and knocking Luke finally went home.  
The next day he got hold of the internal number of Craig’s new nick and rang it.  
“Oh hi, erm, may I speak to Sergeant Gilmore please?”  
The bored voice on the other end said,  
“Sorry Sergeant Gilmore is not available, can anyone else help?”  
“Erm, no. Thanks. Can you tell me when he will be available please?”  
“May I ask what it’s in connection with, sir?” the voice was getting suspicious now.  
“I used to work with Craig at Sun Hill, I just wanted to ask him something. My name’s Luke Ashton, PC Luke Ashton.”  
“Oh right! Sorry PC Ashton, Craig’s on leave. He won’t be back on duty until the twelfth. I can give you his mobile number, but I don’t know if he’ll have it with him.”  
“It’s OK thanks, I’ve already got his mobile number. Do you happen to know where he’s gone?”  
“Somewhere abroad, he didn’t say where exactly. Can I take a message and get him to call when he gets back?”  
“No thanks. I’ll catch up with him when he gets back.”  
Luke put the receiver down gently. Craig hadn’t mentioned he was going on leave, but then again, by the time they had met up at the party Craig had had a lot to drink.   
Luke had a further eight to ten days to bide him time. The days in-between and the weather seemed to mock him. It was glorious sunshine every day with lovely warm evenings, times when he felt he should be spending them getting to know his ex-sergeant rather better, but his ex-sergeant wasn’t there. Three days before he knew Craig was due back on duty Luke again called at his house. Nothing had changed, it still looked deserted.   
The next afternoon he went home and got changed into long shorts and a vest top and then drove around to the house again. This time things looked more hopeful. The windows were open and the door ajar. He parked up a little way down the street and walked back. A huge roar erupted from the house followed by the excited babble of a TV commentator. Craig wasn’t on his own then. Timidly he knocked on the door. Eventually a man he didn’t know emerged from the lounge and said,  
“Yes?”  
“I was looking for Craig,” Luke replied.  
“He’s in the kitchen,” the man said, pointing to a door on the right, then returning at top speed to the lounge as another roar from the crowd in the lounge told him he had missed another try.  
Luke stood in the shadows in the hall and peered around the door but the kitchen was empty, the side door standing wide open telling him Craig was probably in the garden. The sound of running feet and laughter alerted him to Craig’s return. A large man, wearing just a pair of shorts, shot in through the side door, closely followed by a laughing Craig.  
“Don’t you dare!” he was shouting at Craig, pointing his finger.   
Craig was grinning all over his face. Luke raised his eyebrows slightly at the sight of his normally neat and tidy superior officer. Craig’s grey and white patterned shirt was completely unbuttoned and flapping in the breeze, he was wearing shorts, as it was still very warm, and nothing on his feet. He was carrying an opened can of beer which was sweating its coolness. Craig looked very good; he had a tan and looked toned and very fit. Luke felt his heart rate speeding up as he looked his fill.  
Craig made a feint then changed hands and touched the other man with the cold can. The man yelped, bending and trying to get his torso out of reach. He was as tall and broad as Craig but with reddish brown hair. He too had a tan and was perhaps a little more muscular than Craig. The man reached out and pulled Craig’s other hand, catching hold of the tormenting hand holding the beer can at the same time.  
“C’me ‘ere,” he growled, his Welsh accent quite strong. He pulled again, sharply, tugging Craig into his arms. Luke suppressed a gasp of the surprise as the man started passionately kissing Craig and Craig made no move to stop him, instead was joining in wholeheartedly. The man twisted them both around so he was leaning against the work surface, his arms drawing Craig as close as possible. For a second he opened his eyes and caught sight of Luke, who was staring into the kitchen like a rabbit caught in headlights.  
“Can I help you?” he asked, sounding less than pleased.  
Craig turned around, then pulled out of the other man’s arms when he saw who was standing in the hall.  
“Luke?”  
The man looked between Luke and Craig. A voice from the lounge shouted,  
“Craig! Where’s that beer?”  
For a moment all three froze in their unlikely tableau before Craig opened the fridge door and extracted two four packs.  
“Ian, would you mind?”  
Ian gave Luke a cool stare before accepting the packs of beer. He leaned forward and whispered into Craig’s ear,  
“Don’t take too long. I don’t want you going off the boil!”  
He walked in front of Craig, trailing his hand from Craig’s right shoulder and across his chest before walking passed Luke and into the lounge.  
Craig leaned back against the work surface and picked up his can.  
“Did you want something?”  
Luke shrugged. “I just wanted to make sure you’re OK.”  
“I’m fine thanks. You?”  
“OK.”  
Silence descended before Craig asked,  
“Do you want a drink?”  
Luke smiled slightly before saying, “That’s what I was coming around here to ask you, if you wanted to go for dinner or maybe a drink with me. I didn’t know you already had…” He let the sentence trail.  
“Don’t think that would be a good idea, do you, really?”  
Luke nodded slowly. “Did you meet Ian on holiday?”  
Craig smiled and took a gulp from his can.  
“No! I've been friends with Ian for over twenty-five years. They’re all lads I used to play rugby with, from home.”  
“Then he’s not your boyfriend?” Luke asked, his face brightening up like sun coming out after an April shower.  
“He used to be,” Craig admitted.  
“Oh, right. Will you,” he cleared his throat and started again, “Do you want to go for dinner sometime, when your guests have gone?”  
Craig looked down at the floor for a few seconds before looking at Luke.  
“I don’t know Luke, I’m not sure.”  
Craig’s heart was beating so fast he was sure it could be seen. Luke just looked at him with those spaniel eyes at the non-committal answer.   
“Please Craig,” Luke said softly, not meeting Craig’s eyes, his face turning crimson.  
Craig sighed, half in anger and half in resignation.  
“Look, call me when I get back to work. We can talk then, alright?”  
Luke looked at him then said,  
“OK, I’ll call you then. I’ll just, er…” he gestured towards the front door and left, his heart in his boots.

Ian heard a car start up then drive away. He sauntered back into the kitchen to find Craig still leaning against the work surface gazing fixedly at the label on his can.  
“What did Pretty Boy want?” Ian asked, taking the can out of his hands and kissing him. Craig’s response was noticeably less enthusiastic.  
“’Pretty Boy’ is an ex-colleague,” Craig corrected him.  
Ian raised an eyebrow.   
“The way he was looking at you I think he wants to be more than that!” Ian said, resting his hand on Craig's chest, caressing a nipple with his thumb.  
“Drop it Ian!” Craig said quietly, not seeming to notice he was being stroked.  
“Sore point?”  
Craig nodded. He didn’t object when Ian put his arms around him and kissed him. After a few minutes of Ian’s particular brand of comfort Craig was feeling better. When Ian got a couple of cans out of the fridge then took Craig’s hand and quietly towed him upstairs to his bedroom, he smiled and didn’t object at all.

Ian was surprised at how passionate Craig became. Usually their love-making was more old friends giving each other pleasure than new lovers in lust and he wasn’t too sure how to take this change. Still panting slightly he propped himself up against the bed head, adjusting the pillows. Leaning across Craig he opened one of the cans and took a long drink then passed it to Craig who was propping his pillows up. Craig took a long draught of the beer and wiped his mouth, passed the can back then wiped his face on his hand, pushing his wet hair back out of the way. Both men’s skin glistened with sweat as they lounged at their ease, totally unconcerned in their nudity.  
“Didn’t get enough in Spain, then?” Ian asked.  
Craig turned to look at him. Ian’s face was red, his short hair wet and standing up in spikes.   
“Sorry!” Craig muttered. “You alright?” he asked, belatedly, feeling rather guilty that he’d used Ian’s accommodating body to vent his anger and frustration.   
Ian wriggled slightly against the duvet. He certainly knew he’d been thoroughly fucked.  
“No damage,” he replied shortly. “Not seen anyone get to you like that in a while. What’s the story?”  
Craig sighed, not really wanting to talk about Luke but as Ian had been the recipient of his temper he thought he should tell him.  
“Pretty Boy is Luke Ashton.”  
Ian paused in the act of opening the second can.  
“Ashton? Ashton? The kid who came on to you then went firmly back in the closet?”  
Craig nodded. Ian’s eyebrows rose briefly before he said,  
“If I’d known that I’d’ve kicked him in the balls on the way out.”  
Craig smiled briefly.   
Long association told Ian that wasn’t the whole story.   
“When did he start paying personal visits?”  
“That’s the first one. Just after I got beaten up I saw him out with his new boyfriend.”  
Ian snorted. “Married life didn’t last too long then?”  
Craig shook his head.   
“Kerry found he’s gay and she’s not forgiven him. He started seeing another bloke but dropped him then I saw him at a party the day before I went on holiday. Had a skinful and woke up in his bed!”  
Ian laughed.  
“’Bet he was impressed when he saw us in the kitchen.”  
”Yeah!” Craig admitted, laughing. Ian always could make him laugh. “He wanted to know if I’d met you on holiday.”  
“You should have said yes and it’s undying love!” Ian replied, putting his hand on his heart and making ridiculous cow eyes at Craig.  
“It did cross my mind.”  
“If he’s coming crawling back, don’t make it too easy for him,” Ian warned.  
“What makes you think I’m going to put myself through that hell again?”  
Ian leaned across and kissed him before saying,  
“The look in your eyes when you saw him standing in the hallway.”  
Before Craig could think up a retort Idris hammered on the door on his way to the bathroom.  
“You two in there?” he yelled.  
“No!” Ian answered.  
Idris’ reply was lost in the sound of running water and then the loo flushing.  
“Don’t you want to watch?” Idris yelled.  
“We’re coming,” Craig replied, raising his voice.  
“Well ‘urry up and come, the match is about to start!” Idris shouted on his way down the stairs.  
Craig and Ian looked at each other for a second before bursting out laughing.

 

His house seemed to be very empty and quiet when the lads had set off for Paddington station the next morning. Craig pottered about tidying up, getting his holiday clothes washed and changing the sheets on his bed. He and Ian had spent a good proportion of the night saying their personal goodbyes. He felt relaxed and comfortable with Ian. There wasn’t any of the stomach churning nerves he experienced when he saw Luke. Ian represented safety and warmth, as comfortable as a pair of slippers. He was just Craig Gilmore, old school friend, not Sergeant Gilmore. However, being friends as well as occasional lovers didn’t stop the sex being good. By the state of the shadows under his eyes when they all set off in a couple of taxis, he knew Ian would be sleeping all the way back to Swansea. 

Just as Craig was contemplating what to make for his evening meal the telephone rang. He picked it up expecting it to be Ian telling him they were home.  
“You got there then?” he asked cheerfully.  
“I haven’t been anywhere,” Luke replied, hesitantly.  
“Oh, I’m sorry, Luke. I thought it was Ian.”  
“It’s OK. They’ve gone home then?”  
Craig winced, he could hardly lie and say Ian was staying a few more days after his opening line.  
“Yes, they set off just after lunch.”  
“As you’re on your own do you fancy a quick drink?”  
“Well, I am rather tired, Luke,” Craig replied, prevaricating.  
“Long night with Ian, was it?” was Luke’s snide retort.  
“Who I choose to sleep with is none of your concern, Luke,” Craig replied sharply. “And if you’re going to continue like this I’m going to hang up.”  
“No don’t!” Luke said quickly. “I apologise. I shouldn’t have said that.”  
“No, you shouldn’t,” Craig agreed. “Look, I don’t know what you want Luke but I won’t be used by you again, so I don’t think it’s a good idea to go for a drink with you. I acted like a complete fool over you but I’m not going to do that again.”  
“I’m not going to use you. I, I just want to be friends. You know, go out for a drink or dinner sometime or see a film together.”  
Craig stayed silent for so long Luke asked,  
“Craig, are you still there?”  
“I’m still here,” he replied considering the offer. Perhaps if he did see more of Luke, socially, he would get over him quicker. Or, fall in love with him again, the little voice in his mind whispered. “Alright, a quick drink then, I am really tired. Where do you want to meet?”  
Luke named a pub about ten minutes away from Craig’s home.

Despite his fatigue Craig did enjoy the drink. Luke could be good company when he put himself out and he was making a big effort. They talked about Craig’s holiday and some of the relief from Sun Hill. Luke mentioned a new PC and a new Sergeant who had joined them to replace Matt Boyden. Even though he hadn’t got on with Boyden, Craig wouldn’t have wished that fate on any colleague.  
“What’s he like then, Sergeant Smith?”  
“Smiffy is… Smiffy,” Luke replied, burying his nose in his pint again.  
“You knew him before he came to Sun Hill?” Craig questioned.  
Luke nodded. “PC Dale Smith was at Sun Hill when I was the first time around.”  
“Oh. You didn’t get on?”  
“No, not really. He thought I was a crap copper and he made sure I knew about it.”  
“Is he giving you a hard time?”  
“No more than you did.”  
Craig thought for a moment, Luke read his mind and answered, “No. I don’t think he’s gay.”  
Craig grinned before replying,  
“If he gets too bad go and speak to Gina. She is a good copper and she’ll look after her relief.”  
“She didn’t do too good a job with you.”  
Craig shrugged, not wishing to be reminded.   
“Water under the bridge now.”   
He finished the rest of his pint and said briskly,  
“Right, I need to go and get some shut-eye. Thanks for the drink, Luke. I’ve enjoyed it.”  
“Thanks Craig, I’ve enjoyed it as well.”  
Craig nodded and made to leave. Just as he got outside Luke appeared at his side.  
“I meant to ask, are you doing anything on Thursday?”  
“Working. I’m on late shift.”  
“Right, Friday?”  
“I was intending to go and see an Australian film I’ve heard good things about.”  
“Well can we see the film and then get something to eat afterwards?”  
“I thought this was going to be ‘just friends’?”  
“It is. I tend to go out with my friends to the cinema and clubbing and stuff, don’t you?”  
“Not clubbing, no,” Craig replied, aware he was over-reacting. “You’ll probably be bored with the film.”  
“What’s it called?”  
“Rabbit Proof Fence.”  
“Australian rabbits?”  
“Aborigines,” Craig corrected him.  
“I’ll tell you if I was bored after I’ve seen it.”  
“OK, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

 

Halfway through the film Luke was trying valiantly to stop yawning. He was determined not to let Craig know just how tiresome he found the film. The subject matter should have moved him but somehow it failed to do so. By the fidgeting going on beside him he thought Craig was thinking the same thing too. He let his mind wander onto his working life. Craig had been a hard task master but a fair one, Smiffy was just being hard. He felt as if the last three years hadn’t happened and he was once again a probationer who could do nothing right, but he was determined not to let Smiffy win. He was a good copper and he knew he could be a better one. The house lights going up jerked him out of his sombre mood.  
Craig turned to look at him as he got to his feet.  
“OK?” he asked.  
“Fine,” Luke replied following Craig out of the cinema.

In the restaurant after they’d got their drinks Luke asked,  
“So, what did you think of the film.”  
Craig took a careful swallow of his wine before saying,  
“Didn’t quite make it, did it?”  
Luke grinned at him and shook his head.  
“No, it didn’t. It should have moved us to tears but didn’t.”  
Craig laughed, “Alright you choose the next film. I obviously didn’t do a very good job on this one.”  
“Well, how about the theatre rather than a film?” Luke asked.  
“Sounds OK to me. Haven’t been to the theatre in ages.”  
Luke smiled broadly determined that their next expedition would be as good as he could make it.

At least twice a week for the next few weeks saw Craig and Luke going out to various places; sometimes the cinema, theatre, an exhibition at the British Museum that Craig particularly wanted to see, or just a curry or a drink. Every time Luke made arrangements to meet up with him, Craig usually assumed that this would be the time that Luke wouldn’t show up. He was so used to Luke blowing hot and cold he had come to expect that behaviour. Consequently he found himself arriving at the venue ready to walk away if he didn’t spot Luke within a couple of minutes. Surprisingly enough it was usually him who was the last one to arrive. Luke was always early. It didn’t stop Craig from mentally waiting for the other shoe to drop, though. He couldn’t really relax in Luke’s company. There was always a slight edge, a thrilling tingle of excitement when he was with the other man which made him hyper alert. This particular evening they were dining in a small curry house a few minutes away from Luke’s flat. It had become a favourite haunt as the food was good and it was very reasonably priced.  
“How about having coffee at my place?” Luke suggested.   
“Fine by me,” Craig agreed.  
They split the bill and set off. Craig hadn’t been in Luke’s flat since the morning he woke there after the party. It hadn’t changed much. It was clean, tidy and comfortable.   
“Sit down, I’ll get the coffee on.”  
Craig sat on the sofa then stood up and went to look at Luke’s extensive music collection. Luke returned with two cups.  
“Here you are.”  
“Thanks,” Craig replied, coming back to the sofa still holding a CD in his hand.  
“Do you want to hear that one?”  
“Please,” Craig said, handing it over.  
Luke set the CD going, the volume quite low so they could still talk, and sat beside Craig, picking up his cup. Craig had gone a little quiet.  
“Luke?”  
“Hmm?”  
“Why do you keep asking me out?”  
Luke laughed, “Because I like your company!”  
“Is that all?”  
Luke considered his reply before saying,   
“No. I really do like your company but I really like you as well.”  
Craig put his cup down as Luke’s behaviour suddenly resolved itself in his mind.  
“You’re courting me!”  
“I suppose so,” Luke agreed calmly, taking a sip of his coffee. “Do you want a dollop of something stronger in that?”  
“What have you got?” Craig asked mechanically, trying to come to terms with Luke’s ready admission.  
Luke took a bottle of a blended whisky out of a cupboard and handed it to Craig, who poured a slug into his cup, Luke following suit. They sipped in silence, Luke finishing his coffee first.  
“I thought we were just being friends,” Craig said.  
“We are.”  
“But we’re not, you’re trying to change things!”  
“I want to get to know you better. I’ve been enjoying the places we’ve been to, haven’t you?”  
“Well, yes, but that’s not the point. You’ve just admitted you’ve been courting me, you’re trying to make this into a romantic relationship.”  
“Don’t you want any romance?”  
“Yes, but I’m not sure I can cope with it from you,” Craig stated rather bluntly.  
“Don’t you think I can be romantic,” Luke whispered, sliding so close to Craig he could feel his breath on the skin of his face. Craig was mesmerised by Luke’s proximity. Luke touched Craig’s face with his fingertips, looking into his eyes, slowly drawing them closer together. Their lips barely touched but the spark of desire flared in Luke like a bush fire. He kissed Craig more firmly then throwing caution to the winds kissed him as passionately as he had on his stag night. He couldn’t help himself, he was intoxicated by the smell and taste and feel of Craig’s skin against his lips. The lips under his responded for a few seconds, returning the delicious pressure. He sighed softly into Craig’s mouth. Suddenly he was pushed away. Disappointed he tried to get close to Craig again.  
“No! No, Luke. I can’t do this again!” Craig cried standing up out of the way.   
“Craig, please!”  
Craig looked at him with something akin to terror in his eyes.  
“I’ve just got my life back Luke Ashton, I can’t let you try to destroy me again.”  
He grabbed his coat and left the flat before Luke could stop him. Luke remained seated absolutely speechless at the way Craig had reacted to his overtures. He knew he’d hurt Craig but he had no idea he had hurt him to the extent he would run away before beginning an intimate relationship with him. Luke felt sick at the evidence of his unthinking cruelty to Craig then he began berating himself for his impatience. If he’d left things as they were for a while longer Craig may have relaxed enough to have reacted differently. If only. Silently Luke filled his cup with whisky, drained it then got ready for bed. Perhaps by tomorrow Craig would have calmed down enough to see things differently. Unless he were an expert liar his kisses told Luke that Craig still liked him, he couldn’t hope that Craig still loved him, not after everything he’d put the man through, but maybe that would return in time. Despite the alcohol, sleep was a long time coming to Luke. 

 

Luke tried ringing Craig the next day but Craig didn’t answer his mobile or his home telephone. By the third day of being ignored, in desperation, Luke tried to ring him at the station, but here too he was firmly but politely told Sergeant Gilmore wasn’t available. As if that wasn’t bad enough, Smiffy seemed to have developed more of a downer on him than normal. Whatever he did wasn’t right. More than once Luke considered taking Craig’s advice and going to see Gina Gold but at the last minute decided to fight it through on his own. He wasn’t a probationer anymore he was a fairly experienced PC and he knew Sergeant Smith was being deliberately obnoxious to him. Between Smiffy’s never ending complaints about his work and Craig’s complete silence Luke was doubly miserable. He made one last attempt to get Craig to speak to him by leaving a message on his answer machine. He'd thought about the message for a long time before he left it. Firstly he apologised for the way he'd treated Craig in the past and hoped Craig could forgive him. Then he told Craig how he felt about him, how much he admired him and desired him. Finishing the message was the most difficult part. Luke told Craig he would understand it if he didn't want to see him again, then he said goodbye and put the 'phone down. 

Waiting was the worst part. He missed Craig immensely, missed his dry sense of humour and missed talking to him about everything and nothing. Luke was feeling very lonely after a week had passed. Sneakily he rang Craig's station only to be told by the friendly receptionist  
"Oh, hi PC Ashton. You keep missing Sergeant Gilmore, he's on two days off."  
"I do, don't I?" he agreed.  
"Is it important? Can anyone else help?"  
"No, thank you. I just wanted a quick word with him."  
"Well, if the trains are running OK he should be back in on Thursday."  
"Trains?"  
"He's gone back to Wales. See some old mates, I think he said."  
"Thanks. I'll catch him later," Luke said, trying to maintain a normal tone.  
He put the telephone down, a cloud of black depression enveloping him. Craig had gone back to see Ian, he'd lost him. His vision blurred with unshed tears.  
"What are you still doing in here Ashton? You're supposed to be out on patrol with Stamp," Sergeant Smith shouted at him.   
"Sarge!" Luke replied, picking up his helmet and leaving as quickly as possible.

 

Luke had thought the first week without hearing from Craig very hard to bear, the second, when he knew Craig had gone back to see his ex-lover, was impossible. His concentration, not at its best these days, shattered completely. A couple of times it was only by the intervention of his partner that he didn't make any serious mistakes. Finally, as a last straw Tony Stamp got hold of him in the locker room.  
"Luke," he hissed, "What is the matter with you?"  
"Sorry Tone," he apologised.  
"Sorry won't be enough if you make any more cock-ups! Smiffy is just waiting for the chance to get you on a disciplinary and you're playing right into his hands. Snap out of it! Do you want to lose your career?"  
"No, of course I don't."  
"Well whatever it is that's eating you, get it sorted and get your mind back on the job." Tony waited for a beat before asking, "What is wrong? Can I help?"  
"Don't think so Tone, but thanks for asking."  
"Is it Kerry? Are you upset she's found someone else?"  
"No, I'm pleased about that. She deserves a good bloke."  
"Then what is it?"  
Luke desperately wanted to tell someone but he wasn't sure if Tony was the best one to tell.  
"If it's those ridiculous rumours that you're gay, I wouldn't worry about it," Tony said.  
"What?" This was news to Luke. "What rumours?"  
Tony's face coloured up.   
"It's nothing," he said.  
"No, it isn't nothing. Who's been saying I'm gay?"  
Tony was sorry he'd ever opened his mouth.  
"Come on, you can't leave it like that."  
"It was just after you split up with Kerry. Someone started putting around rumours you'd split up because you were gay," Tony finally admitted.  
In an instant Luke knew Kerry had make good on her threat. He laughed softly, the misery coming through clearly.  
"No-one believes it, Luke," Tony assured him.  
"Really? What if it's true?"  
"Don't be daft, you got married."  
"A lot of gay blokes get married Tone, it's a way of hiding the truth from everyone, including themselves."  
Tony wasn't sure if Luke was joking or not. The young man was sitting staring at the floor apparently in the deepest gloom imaginable.  
"Luke?"  
"I'm alright Tony. I'll be fine, don't worry about me."  
Luke got up collected his coat from his locker and set off for home.

He spent the evening weighing his options. He was deeply unhappy without Craig. Instinctively he knew this must have been how Craig had felt when he'd rejected him repeatedly and so badly. Private life aside he debated with himself about his profession. Did he still want to be a copper? The answer to that was yes, he believed in what he was doing. Did he want to be an openly gay copper, like Craig? Could he cope with the abuse and the narrow-minded attitude he knew Craig had had to fight against all his working life? The answer to that was no, he didn't think he could cope, not on his own. Craig, as an individual, was a lot stronger than him. Therefore that left him with a couple of answers at least; firstly, he needed to try and move on. Craig could no longer trust him enough to even be friends and he knew that was down to his own actions. Secondly, he needed to get his mind firmly back on the job, difficult though that would be, if he didn't though, he knew Smiffy would take the first opportunity to hang him out to dry. After that point any questions about being a police officer, gay or straight, would be a moot point. His stomach rumbled softly. He glanced at the clock and was surprised to see it was going up to one in the morning, definitely time for bed. For the first time in a couple of weeks, Luke slept very well.

The next few days were very busy ones but Luke managed to keep on top of the work. Even if wistful thoughts of what his life may have been like intruded from time to time he managed to keep these to a minimum when he was on duty. His colleagues found him uncharacteristically quiet and sombre but that was a small price to pay for his much improved team work skills. Even Sergeant Smith could find little to complain about.

 

It had been a hell of day, Luke acknowledged to himself as he plonked himself down in the locker room. Wearily he leaned his head back against a locker door and closed his eyes. At the other side of the room Nick Klein was in the same position, both of them almost too bone weary to move. The door slammed back on its hinges eliciting a half-open eye from Luke but no reaction whatsoever from Nick.  
“Look at you two!” Tony said, “What’s the matter with you? Can’t you keep up with the criminals these days?”  
“Get lost Tony and let us die in peace,” Nick replied without opening his eyes.  
“Well I was going to ask if you were going to the pub, but it doesn’t look like you’ll stay awake long enough.”  
Luke was too tired to reply. It seemed to him as if there had only been Nick and himself working on the relief today. They had been given the run-around by a bunch of teenaged tearaways for practically the whole shift, literally the run-around as they had both been on foot patrol.  
“My feet are killing me!” Luke complained.  
“Can’t even feel mine anymore,” Nick replied, still with his eyes closed.  
Tony snorted contemptuously and left the locker room.   
Making a tremendous effort Luke started to get out of his uniform. He took his mobile off his belt and noticed he had a text message. In the melee he hadn’t heard the alert. He pressed the keys to scroll the message.  
‘Are you busy on Sunday afternoon? – Craig.’  
Luke stared at the screen dumbstruck. He had to read it twice to make sure he understood the simple question. Quickly he keyed in, ‘No. Why?’ and waited. Less than a minute later he read,  
‘Fancy a walk in Richmond Park?’  
‘OK’ he keyed quickly and waited.  
‘Meet me at Kingston Gate, 2.30?’  
‘See you there, then,’ Luke tapped in and pressed send.  
“Hot date?” Nick asked as Luke sat looking at his mobile in rapture.  
“I hope so,” Luke replied softly.   
Suddenly he felt energised and on top of the world at the prospect of seeing Craig again. It was a lot later on that he began to feel some trepidation. What if Craig wanted to meet him to tell him he was getting back together with Ian? Or that he’d met someone else and didn’t want Luke to hear it on the grapevine? Two days of ‘what ifs’ spun around his mind until Sunday arrived. Luke was so nervous he was standing at Kingston Gate by one forty-five. He kicked his heels until he saw Craig striding down Queens Road towards him. He looked very good in black jeans, a red polo shirt and trainers. For a second he was unable to breathe, his heart hammering in his chest. Then Craig saw him and smiled. Tremulously Luke returned the smile. As Craig entered the park he stopped and looked Luke over. Seemingly satisfied with his perusal he said,  
“Shall we walk?”  
Luke nodded and fell into step beside him. It was a lovely day, something Luke had failed to notice on his way in. The sun was shining, and it was warm with a slight breeze. Dark clouds were gathering at the horizon but the rest of the sky was blue.  
“How’ve you been?” Craig asked.  
“OK. You?”  
“Fine.”  
Silence.  
“How’s Ian?”  
Craig turned and smiled at Luke before saying,  
“Ian’s fine. He’s just started a new job in Manchester, we were helping him move a couple of weeks ago. He says he’s enjoying it.”  
“Manchester’s a long way from South Wales.”  
“So is London.”  
Luke grinned.  
“You seeing anyone?” Craig asked.  
Luke shook his head, his expression darkening, fully expecting Craig to tell him he was moving back to Manchester to be with Ian.  
Craig didn’t say anything more just kept up a steady pace, apparently enjoying the sunshine and the views of trees, grass and deer.  
“Are you?” Luke asked, unable to bear the suspense any longer.  
“Pardon?”  
“Are you seeing anyone?”  
“No, not at the moment.”  
Luke was undecided if that remark boded well or not.  
“So you’re not transferring back to Manchester then?”  
“Why would I want to do that?”  
“I thought perhaps you were going to move in with Ian.”  
Craig laughed out loud.  
“Not a chance! Much as I love him we wouldn’t survive living together for more than a fortnight, we drive each other round the bend. He says I’m a cleaning freak and I say he’s a slob!”  
This time Luke laughed. Things were looking up!

Where they walked Luke couldn’t have said; he was simply basking in Craig’s company, not willing to rock the boat at all. They both stopped to watch a herd of deer taking their ease under the tree canopy. The stag was a magnificent animal, looking out over the park, his head held proudly whilst the rest of the herd grazed peacefully round him. They were still standing and admiring him when the first fat drops of rain fell. The ominous dark clouds had raced over the sky, disgorging their cargo over the park. Within seconds both men were soaked. As one they ran towards the trees, keeping out of the way of the deer, finding shelter under leafy boughs.  
Panting and laughing they came to a stop.  
“I knew I should have bought a coat,” Luke said, shaking his hands.  
Craig wiped his face and leaned against the trunk listening to the rain pattering on the leaves above them. The park had emptied of people at the first sign of rain.   
“Think we’re stuck here for a while,” Craig said, peering out at the grey downpour.  
Luke didn’t say anything. He was standing so close to Craig he could feel heat radiating from his body. He took another step closer and lifted his head. Craig’s hand gently wiped away raindrops from his face before his lips touched his. Mindful of what had happened last time Luke let his lust run away with him, he kept his kisses soft and sweet. At length Craig drew back and looked down into his eyes. Silently he traced his features with his eyes then kissed his eyelids, the tip of his nose and finally his lips, again.   
“Are you still looking for romance?” Craig whispered, nuzzling his cheek.  
“Only if it’s with you,” Luke replied, putting his arms around Craig and reaching up to taste more of Craig’s talented mouth. The smell of damp ground, the patter of rain on leaves and the feel of a hot body in his arms were printing themselves indelibly on Luke’s memory. This felt like a fresh start, as fresh as the soft summer rain falling all around them.  
Several minutes later the downpour eased then ceased. In a dream Luke followed Craig, managing to keep his hands to himself as they walked along the road. A tube ride later and they were in Craig’s home, progress to the bedroom marked by soft kisses, moans and caresses along heated, damp skin. Craig, his eyes admiring his soon to be lover’s body, lay Luke down on his bed and climbed on after him. Immediately Luke reached for him as if he'd been deprived of Craig for days instead of mere seconds. Craig was trying to take some of his weight on his knees and elbows, like a gentleman, but Luke soon dispensed with that as he rolled then both and then straddled Craig's hips, mapping his body with his lips, tongue and hands. He swirled his tongue around a nipple relishing the taste and the pebbled texture then moved down his ribs, breathing hot air and placing open mouthed kisses and nips along his skin making Craig sigh and whimper his appreciation. He glanced up at Craig's face. His eyes were shut and his face screwed up in extreme concentration. His skin glistened with moisture making droplets caught in his chest hair sparkle in the light from the bedside lamp. This time Luke moaned at the vision spread out under him. He didn't think he'd ever seen a more erotic sight in his life. He applied his tongue to the hair roughened skin along Craig's belly, making the muscles under the skin twitch and ripple, moving lower he swiped his tongue across the leaking head of his shaft then took in as much as he could and backed off, sucking strongly all the time. Craig cried out, his back arching and leaving the bed. Forcefully he pushed Luke away and made a grab for the head of his own penis, holding tight just below the flared crown to stop himself coming on the spot. He panted heavily, his face twisted in agonised pleasure/pain. When his grip eased Luke dove in again for more kisses.  
"Lube," Luke gasped.   
When Craig didn't answer him he pulled away and said again,  
"Lube?"  
Slowly the mists cleared from Craig's mirror dark eyes. He pulled open a drawer in the bedside table and dumped a couple of tubes and a foil wrapped packet on the bed next to Luke. Luke picked up the first tube and squeezed the contents onto Craig's hand. Craig looked down uncomprehendingly.  
"You're going to do me," Luke supplied helpfully, spreading his legs and guiding Craig's loaded hand to where he wanted it. The gel felt cool as it was stroked deeply into him, the prickle of pleasure spreading glowing tendrils along his limbs. Then a hot, wet mouth descended and on him with just a suggestion of teeth behind lips. At the same time as Craig's fingers hit his happy button inside he sucked, his head bobbing over his groin. Luke came with a loud yell, unable to hold back.   
A musky, salty tasting mouth was kissing him whilst Luke was getting his breath back and his mind back from the heavens.   
"Kneel up," Craig whispered directly into his ear.  
Luke moved but instead of kneeling he pushed Craig onto his back and knelt over him, his legs each side of Craig's hips. He grinned down at the surprised look on Craig's face then reached back, letting Craig's latex covered length slide slowly inside. Luke bit his lip at the stretch and stayed still, Craig holding his hips steady as the burning feeling subsided.   
Craig saw the look of discomfort flit across Luke's expressive face and instinctively held back. Not an easy action when his emotions were in free fall. The only other time he had been compos mentis and in a bed with this most maddening of men, Luke hadn't even let him take his t-shirt off, let alone his boxer shorts. Craig had managed to make love to Luke with his hands and mouth whilst very nearly fully dressed. Frustrating didn't come near! Now, to not only have Luke back in his bed again but also being so willing to touch him and kiss him and take him into his body came very close to being his undoing. He was grateful Luke needed time to adjust to his penetration, they both needed to slow down for rather different reasons.   
Experimentally Luke lifted himself a little. A tiny sliver of pleasure spread upwards along his spine, making him shiver, his internal muscles contracting in reaction, bringing with it a little pain.  
Craig gasped, his grip stilling Luke, the sensation around his cock indescribably wondrous.   
Luke did it again, a longer stroke his time, his expression one of fierce inward focus which slowly diffused into bliss. He lips curved upwards into a smile, his eyes closed, his head thrown back. On the next down stroke Craig pushed up slightly, surprising a groan of pure erotic enjoyment out of Luke, the sound reverberating and vibrating through Craig's body, centring on his cock. A tingle in his groin and the feel of his balls beginning to tighten presaging his orgasm, warned Craig he was going to come shortly. By an act of pure willpower he fought his own body, willing the sensation to weaken.  
Luke could feel his cock pulse, filling and lifting again. Craig stroked him there, touching, encouraging as Luke rode him faster, his hands splayed against his chest for balance. Their search for that maddeningly brief moment of ecstasy becoming fast and frenetic until Craig stilled under him, one hand digging into the muscles of his thigh as he whimpered his release his hips driving him deep into Luke's body, taking and possessing him, making him his own. Seconds later Luke filled Craig's hand with hot cream as he fell forward, resting his spent body against Craig.

As they lay in each other's arms in a richly content afterglow Luke knew what he had been missing from his previous sexual encounters; emotional commitment. That extra 'something' which came from making love with a partner he was in love with, as opposed to one he simply fancied, had to be experienced to be believed. He was ashamed to acknowledge that included his wife too.  
Craig kissed his hair and asked,  
"OK?"  
"Couldn't be better," Luke sighed. "And thank you."  
"What for?"  
"Giving me another chance."  
Craig smiled and kissed him again. He didn't mention that it was Ian who had recommended Craig give him a second chance. He continued to stroke Luke's arm where it was draped across his chest, neither man feeling like moving much.  
"What time is it?" Luke asked at length.  
Craig glanced at his alarm clock.  
"Nearly half eight."  
Luke sighed.  
"You on early shift tomorrow?"  
Luke nodded and yawned. He didn't want to move from Craig's bed at all.  
"You can stay the night if you want," Craig said.  
"Love to, but I need to get some clean clothes."  
Luke propped himself up on his elbow and surveyed his replete partner. Craig's hair was sticking up, his beard was bristly enough to scratch Luke's face and his face was still slightly pink from their last bout of love-making. A more appetising sight Luke couldn’t imagine. The sight quickly translated to renewed desire. It was a couple of hours later when Craig briefly awoke from an exhausted sleep, used the bathroom and set his alarm clock for Luke.  
Forty-five minutes after the alarm went off Luke reluctantly peeled himself off Craig, got out of bed and quickly scrambled into his clothes. Kneeling at the bedside he kissed Craig and asked,  
"Can I come round tonight, after my shift?"  
Craig smiled and nodded.  
"There's a spare key on the mantelpiece downstairs, you’d better take that. I won't be back until after ten. And bring an overnight bag!"  
Luke grinned thinking that sounded like a wonderful idea.  
"I'll make us some supper when you get home," Luke promised.  
"You can cook as well?"  
"Yes, quite well, as it happens!"  
"I'll look forward to it," Craig replied teasingly.  
Farewells took so much time that Luke was late for parade, a fact which went down like a lead balloon with Sergeant Smith.

For a while the novelty of his new relationship helped Luke block out his unhappiness with his immediate superior at Sun Hill but, inevitably, the strain began to take its toll. The times he and Craig were on opposite shifts were the worst. He would hang onto Craig's pillow in bed, the scent of the man a calming influence on his strained nerves. Luke was slowly coming to the realisation that this war of attrition with Smith would result in one of them leaving Sun Hill. Luke didn't want to burden Craig with his troubles either, so he kept his problems to himself until one evening in bed it all came to a head. They had just started making love. Luke was wound up due to yet another run-in with Smith when suddenly Craig stopped kissing him and lay beside him instead.  
"Why have you stopped? I was enjoying that."  
"Didn't seem like it to me. Who are you thinking about?"  
"What?"  
"I know when my partner isn't concentrating on me, and you're not concentrating on me. Are you tired of this relationship already?"  
"No!" Luke shouted, appalled that Craig would assume he wanted to leave him. "Being with you is the only thing which makes my life worth living," Luke said passionately.  
"Then what's wrong?" Craig asked.  
Luke sighed and put his arm over his eyes. Craig pulled his arm away and said,  
"Tell me."  
"It's Sergeant Smith."  
Craig waited for him to continue.  
"Whatever I do I can't get anything right. He pulls me up about the least little thing. He's just waiting for a chance to put me on a disciplinary charge."  
"Why, what has he got against you?"  
"We didn't get on the first time we were at Sun Hill and it hasn't got any better now he's a sergeant."  
Craig started thinking hard, keeping his temper in check with an effort. He had a fundamental dislike of any officer who abused his position, for whatever reason. He didn't think Luke was totally blame free though, knowing how much he had annoyed him on a few occasions but neither did he think he was disciplinary material.  
"Have you had a word with Gina about this?"  
"That's going to look like I'm telling tales, isn't it?"  
"Not necessarily. If he is abusing his position she needs to know, assuming she doesn't already. Who else is he getting at?"  
"Just me, as far as I know."  
"Well, if you don't want to tell Gina you only have two options left."  
"Which are?"  
"Apply for a transfer or leave the force."  
"I'm not leaving the police, I'm not going to let him drive me away."  
"Then put in for a transfer."  
"Knowing my luck I'll end up the other side of London!"  
"Then we get to commute a lot," Craig said, rolling over and pinning the smaller man underneath him.  
Luke responded by wrapping his legs around Craig's hips and trying to pull him impossibly closer.  
"You'd really do that for me?"  
"Yes, wouldn't you do that for me?"  
"I'd go anywhere to be with you," Luke told him seriously.

Wrapped loosely in Craig's sleepy grasp Luke rubbed his cheek against his lightly furred breast.  
"Do I need to give a detailed reason for a transfer request?" Luke asked softly, still thinking about their earlier conversation.  
Craig shook his head. "Gina will probably want to know why privately, but you don't have to put it in writing."  
Luke turned his head and kissed his breastbone.  
"You going to put in for one then?"  
"I'm thinking about it."

It took the best part of a week before Luke put his transfer request on Gina's desk, making sure she was out, first. It took less than an hour after she found it for her to get Luke into her office for an explanation. As he wasn't particularly forthcoming she then turned her attention to Dale Smith. After the second inconclusive interview in the space of two hours she then rang Craig and arranged to meet him at his nick.  
Plonking herself down in his office and lighting up without permission she came straight the point.  
"So what's going on that I should know about?"  
Craig politely raised his eyebrows.  
"Come on Craig, he's not transferring to be nearer to you so what's his problem."  
"Why don't you ask Luke?"  
"I already have. I could have got a longer dialogue out of a corpse. Same with Smith. They know but they're not letting me know, so what is going on, and don't bother lying to me," she ordered aggressively, blowing a plume of smoke towards the ceiling.  
Craig put his pen down and leaned back in his chair, deciding whether or not to tell Gina what he had heard from Luke. Mentally apologising to Luke for betraying a confidence he said,  
"It sounds like Ashton and Smith didn't get on in their previous stint at Sun Hill. Now they're both back there the conflict is continuing."  
"Why didn't he come to me?" she asked.  
"He thought it would be perceived as telling tales."  
"Hmmm. I checked both their records this morning. Did you know Smith wanted to put Luke on a disciplinary for cowardice just before Luke left?"  
Craig's eyebrow's nearly crawled off the top of his head.  
"No."  
"It didn't get to the official stage, especially as Luke left after witnessing a father shoot his child then commit suicide."  
Craig winced.   
"So what do you want me to do?" Gina asked Craig.  
"That's up to you Ma'am."  
"Oh come on Craig!"  
"I can tell you one thing, Luke is very unhappy at Sun Hill."  
She nodded, deep in thought.  
"Alright, leave it with me. And thanks."  
"You're welcome."

After Gina's little talk with Craig, Sergeant Smith found himself dragged into Inspector Gold's office on a very regular basis. Whenever he hauled Luke over the coals for any tiny breach of protocol she returned the compliment. After a week of this Smith got the message and eased up on his public attempt to force Luke out, however that didn't go for his private vendetta. He made life doubly unpleasant for Luke.   
A few days later Gina collared Luke.  
"PC Ashton, my office please."  
"Ma'am," he replied dully, following her towards her office.  
She stood back to allow him inside then shut the door.  
"Sit down Luke," she said kindly, seating herself behind her desk and pulling out his transfer request.  
"Do you still want me to action this?" she asked.  
"Yes please Ma'am," he replied without hesitation.  
"Do you want to tell me why you're in such a hurry to leave our merry band?"  
Luke briefly considered spilling the beans then decided against it.  
"Let's just say there is a personality difference."  
Gina's face soured instantly.  
"With whom?"  
Luke remained silent, his eyes sliding away from her gimlet stare.  
"PC Ashton, your willingness to keep the peace, at any other time, would be admirable, but after you're gone I need to make sure that this person does not transfer his or her unpleasant attentions onto another officer who may not be able to cope with it as well as you have. Whatever you say will be treated in the strictest confidence," she assured him. "Give me a name."  
"Smiffy, Sergeant Smith, Ma'am. He's the reason I want to leave," Luke told her quietly.  
"There, that wasn't so bad, was it? Now, tell me what has been happening."  
After a pause Luke related all the petty incidents which, when listed separately didn't sound like much, but when added together, day after day, could grind anyone's morale into the ground.  
"Is this still going on?" she asked sharply.  
"Not now. Now its other things but I can't prove that he's behind it. Such as Tony's wallet going missing and turning up under my locker. A nearly full bottle of perfume which Gemma had in her locker, had been emptied all over Kerry's locker just after I'd had to go into the WPC's locker room. Petty things in themselves but it's getting so that most of the relief don't want to go near me."  
Gina nodded in agreement seeing the attempt to alienate Luke from the rest of the relief, for what it was.  
"You're sure you don't want to make a formal complaint against him?"  
"It won't get me anywhere Ma'am. So I don't see the point."  
"Okay dokey. I'll approve your request and get it fast tracked, but it could still take a few weeks."  
"I understand Ma'am."  
"Any other trouble between now and then, you let me know, do you hear?"  
"Yes, Ma'am," Luke replied, smiling.

The following few days were quiet and pleasant, due mainly to Gina's forethought of putting Smiffy through a man-management course which meant he was off-site for almost a week. When he returned he was warned, in no uncertain manner, that should any more officers put in for transfers on his relief he would be getting his work re-appraised, on a daily basis. It was enough of an admonition to check even him.

Luke, meanwhile, continued to do his job to the best of his ability feeling surprisingly serene about life. He was even starting to enjoy his work again, and as the days were soft and balmy it was a double joy to be outside, even if it was in a car, most of the time. After lunch one Wednesday afternoon he and Tony went back out on patrol when a call came in from CAD,   
"Any units deal, robbery in progress, Aleef Family Store, six eight Argyll Street."  
"That's just round the corner," Tony said.  
Luke spoke into his radio,  
"Sierra Oscar from three six two, show us dealing, ETA…"  
"Two minutes," Tony replied.  
"ETA two minutes," Luke relayed to the CAD room.  
"Roger three six two."  
Tony drove fast, within two minutes they screeched to a halt outside the store. A pale faced youth with red hair was backing out of the open doorway, holding a carrier bag in his hand. As soon as he saw the police car he took to his heels. Luke jumped out of the car and set off in pursuit whilst Tony took a minute to check for possible injuries in the shop. The shop owner was more resigned that anything else.  
"You alright, Sir?"  
"Yes, we're fine officer."  
"Can you tell me what he took?" Tony asked, getting out his notebook.  
"When he threatened us we handed over the money in the till. It wasn't much, perhaps two hundred pounds. We take more money in the evening."  
"How did he threaten you?"  
"He pointed a gun at me and ordered my wife to put the money in a carrier bag."  
"A gun?" Tony repeated as his blood froze.  
"Five nine five to three six two, the suspect is armed, repeat, the suspect is said to be armed. Sierra Oscar from five nine five…."  
"We got that Tony," Gemma, in the CAD room, interrupted him as she alerted Sergeant Smith and Inspector Gold.   
"Gemma, Luke is chasing after the suspect and I can't raise him on the radio. I'm going after him."  
"Received."  
Luke heard Tony's warning but didn’t want to slow down the chase to reply. The suspect had run down the street and around the corner towards the shopping precinct. The thought of all those people around an idiot with a gun did little for Luke's peace of mind. The man dodged among the shoppers, effectively losing his pursuer, but nor for long. Luke caught sight of his distinctive coloured hair and gave chase again. The man ran on and turned into a side street. There were fewer people here, which suited Luke. At the end of the street was the entrance to the multi-storey car park, the man ducked into the darkened car park, Luke still giving chase. The closer he got to his quarry the younger the man looked. Luke would have been surprised if he was twenty years old. However he could run. He shot up the ramp, narrowly avoiding a car on the way down, Luke still in hot pursuit. Luke knew the man was panicking now. There was no escape from the car park, unless he crossed over and went down the stairs. On the level below the top floor the man looked around wildly before bringing his gun up in a wavering grasp to centre on Luke.  
"Come on, mate, put it down!" Luke shouted breathlessly, coming to a stop.  
"Stay back," he ordered.  
Luke put his hand up.  
"OK, OK."  
The man was still backing away.   
"Sierra Oscar to three six two, are you receiving?"  
Luke made to answer but the man shouted,  
"Don't touch it!"  
"I need to tell them I'm OK, or they'll have armed police all over here. You don't want that, believe me."  
He considered the statement then nodded.   
"Tell them you're OK then take it off."  
"Sierra Oscar from three six two, I am on level six of Greaves Street car park and I am unharmed."  
As he took his radio off his vest he made sure he pushed the panic button which would transmit everything back to the CAD room at Sun Hill.  
"OK, it's just you and me now," Luke said soothingly, laying his radio on the floor. "What's your name?"  
The man didn't answer.  
"I'm Luke."  
He looked at Luke then spoke.  
"David. You can call me David.  
"Alright David. Do you want to put the gun down, then we can talk?"  
Predictably, David wanted to do no such thing. By now he was pressed against the concrete wall of the car park with good visibility on all directions. No-one could creep up on him from within the car park. The only way to get to him was by abseiling down from the roof-top level. Luke continued trying to find a bond with the angry, frightened young man in front of him.

Back at Sun Hill Gina was calling out the troops. SO19 were already alerted and on their way, Smith was pleased to see his old team mates again. The rest of the relief were cordoning off the area around the car park in case the suspect decided to fire randomly into the shoppers below him. The SO19 squad had already picked themselves a couple of likely buildings which gave them a good view of the appropriate level of the car park. Once on site they split up and disposed themselves according to their Inspector's plan. Gina was listening avidly to Luke talking to David. He was doing well, getting him talking, building a relationship with him, building a degree of trust. Even Smith grudgingly admitted Ashton was doing everything right.

"Why did you hold up the shop?" Luke was asking.  
"Why do you think?" David asked, sitting on the very edge of the wall and looking down. "What are your mates doing down there?" he asked, suddenly getting agitated.  
"I don't know, I can't see from here," Luke calmly informed him. "Tell me what's happening?"  
"They've cordoned off the precinct. They'd better not try anything," he said savagely.   
"They'll be keeping the public out of harms way. Just in case you decide to start shooting into the crowds."  
David grimaced, seemingly annoyed by the supposition.  
"I can tell them to stop what they're doing, if you want," Luke offered.   
David looked around at him.  
"If you let me use my radio."  
"No, no radio."  
"Alright. Did you want the money for something special?"  
"You don't give up, do you?"  
"I get bored easily," Luke said smiling slightly. He felt David's regard becoming a little more speculative, even though the other man half-grinned at him. He waited.  
"I needed the money to go and see someone."  
"Must be important to you. Girlfriend?"  
David laughed.  
"No. No girlfriend. My sister. They took her away from me, in case I contaminate her."  
"Who's 'they'? Has she been abducted?"  
"Yeah, but you lot won't help."  
"How do you know unless you talk to us?"  
"Because 'they' are her legal guardians. Our esteemed parents, good, upstanding, god-fearing members of the community, unlike me," David finished bitterly.  
"Why don't they want you to see your sister?"  
David had a very cynical half-smile on his face as he said,  
"Because I'm gay. They don't want her to have anything to do with me. They kicked me out because I like fucking men, not women, and they stopped Maria from having anything to do with me. But she kept creeping out to come and see me. They found out and sent her up North, to an aunt in Scotland. She wrote to me, begging me to come and fetch her back." David paused. "God only loves heterosexuals, didn't you know that?" he said, his tone mocking.   
"No, He doesn't," Luke said softly, wishing, for once, he'd been honest with the relief about his own sexuality.  
"According to my father, he does. And when Daddy is one of the elders at Kingdom Hall, what he says goes." David struck a pose and quoted, "You shall not lie with a man, as with a woman. That is detestable."  
Luke's eyes opened wide at the words.  
"Leviticus, chapter eighteen. Supposedly a quote from God himself," David said, watching Luke's reaction. "Don't suppose you get many gays in the police, do you? Bit too macho for them," he remarked conversationally.  
"There are gay officers, yes," Luke replied slowly. "My ex-Sergeant was gay, best Sergeant I've ever worked for. And I believe God made you gay he loves you like that."  
"If my father heard you say that, he'd be trying to drive the devil out of you."  
"Is that what he did to you?"  
David nodded. "Yeah, he tried that for months, until I got sick of getting beaten and half starved because I wouldn't admit I didn't like other boys." David's eyes lost his focus slightly, as he looked back on the child he once had been. "Couldn't admit it," he said quietly, almost to himself. "You see the silly old sod brought me up to tell the truth and I couldn't lie to him, how stupid is that?"  
"It's not stupid at all. You could have gone to the social services, they would have helped you. He abused you."  
"Don't need anyone's help anymore, I can look after myself," he said defiantly, looking straight at Luke.  
"What about your sister? Doesn't she deserve some help?"  
"Yeah, that's why I'm going to Scotland. I'm going to help her."  
"Let us help her as well. Put the gun down then we can get this sorted out. Please."  
David looked at Luke, seeming to see right through to his soul. His eyes narrowed then cleared as the hand holding the gun dropped towards the ground.  
"You're…."  
Luke nodded slightly and smiled. A noise behind him startled them both. Luke saw Sergeant Smith lurking behind the cars down the ramp on the level below him at the same moment as David caught sight of the other officer. He was bringing the gun up to centre on Luke when the sudden move overbalanced him, reflexively his finger tightened on the trigger as he went over the edge. Luke felt a sudden burning ache in the top of his left arm then he was running towards the edge of the car park, unaware he was shouting,  
"No!"  
Smith galloped up the ramp from his hiding place towards Luke.  
Luke was looking over the wall. David was sprawled out on the ground, surrounded by paramedics, police officers on the edge of the small crowd.  
"Luke, you've been hit!" Smith said, seeing the blood running down his arm.  
Luke spared the wound a cursory glance before setting off down the ramp, picking up his radio on the way. He ran all the way down to the bottom of the car park then looked for Inspector Gold.  
"Ma'am?"  
"He's still alive, Luke."  
Luke closed his eyes briefly before asking,  
"Did you hear all that?"  
"We did…."  
"We need to get someone to his sister," he said urgently.  
"I know, I know and we will but you need to get patched up first."  
"I'm fine, I can hardly feel it," Luke replied impatiently.  
Gina motioned to one of the paramedics to take a look at Luke's arm.   
"Nevertheless I'd like you to stop dripping blood all over the pavement," she remarked wryly.   
The paramedic was putting a large pad around Luke's arm, securing the pressure dressing with a length of bandage. He gently propelled Luke in the direction of one of the ambulances but Luke resisted.  
"No, I'm alright," he protested.  
"PC Ashton, there is nothing more you can do here, now go with the nice gentleman and let him do his job," Gina ordered grimly.  
The other team of medics were still working on David when the ambulance Luke was sitting in pulled away.  
Gina glared at Sergeant Smith.  
"I will be most interested to read your report, Sergeant, as soon as I get back to Sun Hill," she snapped.  
"Ma'am."  
"In the meantime you can tell me what the hell you thought you were doing up there? Luke had almost talked him down when you crashed in there and ruined everything!"

 

Luke was more than a touch surprised when Kerry looked around the curtain of his cubicle about half an hour after he was brought in.  
"Hello," he said. "What are you doing here?"  
"Waiting to interview a suspect. Heard you'd been brought in. Nothing too minor, I hope," she said, not quite joking.  
"Very minor, just a flesh wound, I'm afraid."  
"OK," she replied, about to leave. Relations between them had been very frosty for quite a while now, even after she had found a new relationship.  
"Kerry!"  
"What?"  
"Erm, I wanted to tell you something before anyone else does."  
"Well, what is it?" she asked, sounding bad-tempered.  
"I'm," he cleared his throat, "I'm seeing someone at the moment."  
"If you mean your sordid little affair with Joe Kincaid, I knew about that months ago," she replied scathingly.  
"Not Joe, Craig," he said quietly.  
"Gilmore?"  
He nodded, keeping a wary eye on her face. On the rare occasions she actually spoke to Luke her temper had been unpredictable at best.  
"You bastard!" she said venomously. "I trusted you both, and you both betrayed me. I'm sorry I ever met you. I just hope he does to you what you did to me, you lying, cheating little coward!"  
She violently pulled the curtain closed, not giving him a chance to reply. He could hear her running down the corridor. He lay back on his pillows tears spilling down his cheeks. Kerry was right, he was a lying, cheating little coward. His cowardice had hurt two people very badly, one could hardly bring herself to speak to him anymore and the other, whilst being loving and generous as ever, didn't really trust him completely. Craig had never said anything but he could somehow feel it. He wasn't being one hundred percent honest with everyone on the relief and he supposed until he was, Craig would feel as if he was ashamed of him and his relationship with him. He moved carefully, the shock of being shot had warn off and his arm and shoulder were aching. He pressed the call button to summon a nurse. A staff nurse came through.  
"Yes?"  
"Can you get me my clothes please?"  
"You can't go yet, the doctor wants to keep you in for observation."  
"No thanks, I'm sure you can use the bed for someone else. Get me my clothes and a discharge form, please."  
The nurse pursed her lips and left, returning ten minutes later with a doctor and a clipboard.  
"I understand from Staff that you want to discharge yourself?"  
"That's right. Are those the forms?" Luke asked, holding out his hand for the clipboard.  
"I really wouldn't recommend this course of action," the doctor went on.  
"I know. You want to keep me in for observation."  
“Yes, we do. If an infection sets in, we can treat it more quickly here.”  
“I’ll be fine, doc,” Luke assured him, holding out his hand again for the forms.  
"Well you need to rest up for a couple of days and if you start to feel sick or dizzy you must come back here, or if the pain gets worse and your arm starts to feel hot or look very red. Do you understand?"  
"Yes."  
The nurse handed the clipboard to Luke whilst the doctor wrote out a prescription for him.   
"You can collect this at the pharmacy on your way out," he said. "These are reasonably strong painkillers, don't drive after taking them."  
"Thanks," Luke said, having no intention of getting the prescription filled.  
Just as he was leaving the hospital Gina caught up with him.  
"Have they let you go already?"  
"Not exactly."  
"Don't you think it would be a better idea to go back inside then?"  
"No, Ma'am. I just want to go home."  
Her face softened slightly as she said,  
"Alright, I'll run you back. Did the doctor give you a prescription?"  
Luke briefly considered lying then thought the better of it.  
"I don't think I need them."  
"I must have missed you getting your medical degree, PC Ashton," she said, holding out her hand for the script.  
Ten minutes later Luke was in possession of a bottle of pills and Gina was navigating them through the traffic.  
"Take your time Luke, don't rush to get back," she said as she dropped him off outside his own flat.  
"Thank you Ma'am," he said, shutting the car door firmly and not looking back.  
Gina sat in her car and watched him climb the steps to his flat and then go in. Then she dialled a number on her mobile.   
"Craig?"  
"Hello Gina, how are you?"  
"I'm fine. Listen, there's no cause for concern, he's OK now, but Luke was involved in a shooting this afternoon…."  
Gina told him everything about the incident. After she had hung up Craig immediately dialled his own home number. It rang out then the answer machine kicked in.  
“Luke, Luke pick up please, it’s Craig.” He waited for a few seconds before saying again, “Luke, if you’re there, please pick up.”  
He hung up and then dialled Luke’s flat. The telephone was answered on the fourth ring.  
“Hello.”   
Luke sounded tired to death.  
“It’s Craig, how are you feeling?”  
“Not too bad,” his voice brightened up immediately on hearing Craig’s voice.  
“Why didn’t you ring me and tell me what had happened?” Craig asked.  
“Because it’s just a scratch! Who told you anyway?”  
“Who do you think?”  
“The wicked witch?”  
Craig smiled as he said, “Got it in one.”   
“When are you going to be home?” Luke asked wistfully.  
“Do you mean to your flat or my home?”  
“I forgot I was here. When can you get here?”  
“About half an hour. That suit you?”  
“Yes, oh yes.”  
“I won’t be long,” Craig assured him, then hung up.  
It was nearer twenty than thirty minutes when Craig pulled up outside and bounded up the stairs. Luke was so quick to open the door Craig half suspected he’d been standing behind it. Luke, dressed in a bathrobe, was in his arms almost before Craig had kicked the door shut. They stood together behind the door in silence, Craig holding him tightly, his head resting on the top of Luke’s head.  
“How are you feeling, really,” Craig asked softly.  
“A lot better now,” Luke replied rather indistinctly as his head was buried in Craig’s jacket. He lifted his head, his mouth hunting for Craig’s. Craig leaned down intending to give him a gentle kiss but Luke had other ideas. He crushed Craig’s soft mouth, kissing him hard, the adrenaline from his fear and anger of earlier in the afternoon surging through him and turning to passion.  
Craig pulled his head out of reach.  
“Are you sure you’re well enough for this?” he asked.  
“I need you. I need this!” Luke gasped, his fingers already busy on Craig’s jacket. Leaving the light jacket where it fell he next had Craig’s shirt off his back and was beginning on his jeans before Craig had chance to think.  
“Not here!” Craig said firmly if a little breathlessly. “Come on!” he took Luke’s left hand which brought forth a quickly suppressed wince of pain.  
“Sorry!”  
“Doesn’t matter,” Luke replied taking Craig’s hand and pulling him towards the bedroom. Once there he shed his robe and made short work of the rest of Craig’s clothing. He virtually threw the bigger man across the bed, kissing, licking and touching any part of Craig’s body he could reach.  
Craig knew Luke was by no means particularly shy in bed, but to see him this out of control was a little unsettling. When the kisses turned to sharp nips and bruising bites, Craig mentally amended unsettling to a little frightening. Using his superior mass Craig pinned Luke to the bed trying to calm him down. This felt more like an attempted rape rather than making love. Luke’s face was red and he was panting already. Craig thought he was going to be in for a very rough time if he didn’t take some of the heat out of Luke first, therefore he was more than surprised when he felt Luke rolling a condom onto him.  
“Now! Please now!” he begged trying to roll over.  
Craig searched under the pillow until his hand closed on a tube. Luke was moaning like a man on the edge as Craig stroked him intimately, trying to prepare him as gently as possible; not the easiest of tasks given the way Luke was writhing against his fingers. Suddenly he rolled over, coming to his knees and holding onto the headboard.  
“Now, please Craig, now!” Luke ordered.  
As soon as Luke felt a larger, blunter object where Craig’s fingers had been he pushed back, hard. The pain being exactly what he wanted. He heard Craig yelp at the unexpected assault but he didn’t care. He kept pushing back, hard and fast, controlling them both, using Craig’s body the way he wanted and not giving a damn for the consequences. Craig gave in and went with what Luke wanted. It was wild and exciting but Luke’s need for him, for the violence of this act, was frightening in its intensity. It wasn’t long before Luke gave a hard cry, impaling, grinding himself against Craig to wring the last drops of sensation out of his orgasm. He collapsed, panting hard, to the bed. Craig pulled away, confused, unsatisfied and then horrified when he saw a smear of blood on the condom. He went to the bathroom and soaked a cloth in cool water and came back to the bedroom just as the panting changed to sobs. He touched the cloth to Luke, making him jump at the temperature then pulled him into his arms. Craig let him cry it all out, stroking his back and his hair. After a few minutes the sobbing stopped. Luke sniffed and wiped his face with his hand. He smiled tearfully up at Craig and went to kiss him, as gently and sweetly as he could. Craig enjoyed his lover’s lips, tasting the salt from his tears as well.   
Craig guided Luke’s hand between his legs. He felt Luke smile against his lips.  
Sorry, love. Not a chance!” He looked down on his quiescent genitals ruefully. “There’s going to be nothing doing down there for a while.”  
“How’s the other side?” Craig asked.  
“Bloody sore. How are you?”  
“Sore!” Craig was hurting so he knew Luke must feel like he’d had his insides scoured out with sandpaper.  
“Can I touch you?” Luke asked.  
Craig nodded. Luke found the lube and spread a generous dollop on his hand and reached between them. Deftly and with a touch like gossamer, Luke masturbated Craig to a stunning climax. Afterwards they both slept, Luke’s head resting in the hollow of Craig’s shoulder, both of them too emotionally spent to talk.

A couple of hours later they awoke within minutes of each other, neither in any particular hurry to move. Craig’s stomach rumbled loudly setting Luke off giggling.  
“I think someone wants feeding.”  
”Hmmm, you hungry?” Craig asked.  
“Yeah, how about a curry?”  
“Where do you fancy going?”  
“We could go to the Ashoka? Or…” Luke let the sentence trail.  
“Or what?”  
“Or we could order a takeaway and one of us could go to the offie and get some wine and we could stay in bed.”  
“One of us? i.e. me?”  
Luke grinned up at Craig totally unrepentant. Craig kissed him.  
“The second option sounds great but I’m not eating takeaway curry in bed.”  
A knock sounded on the door.  
Craig frowned.  
“You expecting anyone?”  
Luke shook his head.  
“You’d better go and answer that. I’ll jump in the shower.”  
“I’ll come and scrub your back,” Luke promised as he rolled off the bed, wincing a little at stray aches and pains and picked up his bathrobe.  
The shower started before he had padded along the hallway. He opened the door and was extremely surprised at the sight of his visitor.  
“Hello,” he said.  
“Hello Luke. I was passing and thought I’d call in and see how you were doing,” Smith said, looking just as uncomfortable to be there.  
“I’m alright. I’ll be back in tomorrow.”  
“Inspector Gold has signed you off for two days, so take your time.”  
A bellow of, “Luke! Where’s the fresh towels?” interrupted them.  
“Airing cupboard,” Luke shouted back.  
Craig muttered to himself and padded out of the bathroom to the airing cupboard in the hall, dripping wet, trying, unsuccessfully, to dry himself on a hand towel. He was rummaging in the cupboard before he registered that the outside door was still open and Luke was still speaking to his visitor. Smith got an eyeful of his back view until the unknown man grabbed a bath towel and shot off in the direction of the bathroom again. Luke saw the light dawning in Smith’s eyes. He could smell sweat and sex on himself and Smith had just seen another man showering.  
Smith pushed a bottle of wine at Luke and said quickly,  
“I brought you this, as well. See you.”   
He scuttled off down the stairs.  
Slowly Luke shut the door and leaned back against it. Craig was watching him from the end of the hallway. He saw Luke close his eyes and bow his head over the wine and could almost read his mind. Well he had been expecting Luke to reject him at some point, and it looked like that point was here. He swiftly dried himself and had got back into his jeans and was looking for his shirt when Luke came wandering back into the bedroom the bottle under one arm, studying a takeaway menu.  
“What do you fancy?” Luke asked.  
“What?”  
“Curry,” he said sitting down on the edge of the bed and switching on the lamp. “What curry do you fancy? Do you want starters as well?”  
Craig stayed absolutely motionless. Had he read this wrong?  
“Who was the bloke?”  
Luke looked up and wrinkled his nose.  
“My sergeant,” he replied. “I’d watch the wine he brought as well, he’s probably poisoned it.”  
So that was Sergeant Dale Smith.  
Luke gave a half laugh as he said,  
“He’s probably gone running back to Sun Hill to tell everyone that Ashton’s queer.”  
Craig’s stillness alerted him that something wasn’t quite right.  
“It’s a joke!” Luke said.  
“Is it? Are we?”  
“Are we what?”  
“A joke.”  
Luke surged up off the bed towards Craig, dropping the menu. He seemed to be undecided whether to punch Craig or hug him. Instead he settled for standing so close in front of him they were nearly touching.  
“What the fuck do you mean by that?” Luke shouted from a distance of a couple of inches.  
“I saw you when you shut the door after him,” Craig told him, curiously calm. “You looked so ashamed that he’d seem me in here. I thought you were coming in here to tell me to leave.”  
A cavalcade of emotions chased themselves over Luke’s face. Chagrin, regret, sorrow, pain.   
It was like watching a film at high speed.  
“You really don’t trust me, do you?” Luke finally asked, his eyes brightening with unshed tears. “What can I do to prove to you that I love you?”  
Craig couldn’t think of a thing to say. From being absolutely sure the relationship was about to be terminated to Luke telling him he loved him was a huge leap of comprehension.  
“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” Luke said, stroking his face. “I don’t expect you to still love me, but you do have some feelings for me, don’t you?” he asked.  
Mute, Craig nodded. Hesitantly he put his arms around Luke and hugged him.  
“The last time I told you I loved you, you ran off and married Kerry.”  
Craig felt Luke laugh as he returned the hug.  
“That’s not going to happen again. Kerry can barely bring herself to speak to me. I think she was disappointed David didn’t do more damage when he shot me.”  
“I’m sure she didn’t mean whatever she said.”  
“I’m sure she did. She thinks we both betrayed her.”  
“When did she say that?” Craig asked.  
“When I told her I was seeing you, this afternoon. She was at the hospital waiting to see a suspect.”  
“You told her?”  
Luke nodded.  
“I didn’t want her finding out from someone else. She doesn’t deserve that, I’ve already hurt her enough. We’re both at the top of her shit list, though!”  
“I can imagine,” Craig replied, dryly. “If we’re leaving that bottle alone, what kind of wine do you want with your meal?” 

When Craig got back with the wine and the Indian meal, Luke had showered and changed into shorts and a singlet. He took some of the carrier bags from Craig and then led him into the lounge.   
“Aren’t we going to dish up….” Craig stopped speaking as he looked around the transformed room. The sofa and chairs had been pushed back to make a space in the middle of the room. A tablecloth was laid out there, with two glasses, several plates and eating implements. Cushions and pillows had been scattered around two sides of the cloth. Thick church candles were burning on a couple of saucers on the cloth, whilst other candles had been placed around the room and something soft and soothing was playing in the background.  
“Thought we could have a carpet picnic,” Luke said, looking up at him hopefully.  
Craig bit his tongue on his immediate retort of, ‘I’m not eating curry on the floor’. He really had made an effort to make this a bit special.  
“That looks really nice, Luke. Thank you.”  
Luke’s eyes danced as he smiled happily.  
“Let’s get this set out. I’m starving!” he said, diving into the carrier bags and extracting hot foil containers of food.

Despite Craig’s initial misgivings, the carpet picnic was very pleasant. They could lounge about and still pick at the food and drink wine. In fact, by the end of the evening he was wondering why he’d never tried it before.  
“Do you rent this place, or are you buying it?” Craig asked suddenly.   
He was lying on his back, amongst the cushions, looking at the ceiling idly stroking Luke’s hair. Luke was enjoying the undemanding caresses whilst using Craig’s chest as his pillow. He found the thud of Craig’s heartbeat under the back of his head very comforting.  
“It’s rented.”  
“Do you like it?”  
“I needed somewhere to live when Kerry kicked me out, it was handy and I could afford it. Why?”  
“So you’re not that attached to it?”  
“Not really.”  
“What do you think of my place?”  
Luke rolled over and kissed his mouth before saying,  
“As long as you’re there, it’s a palace!”  
Craig smiled.  
“What’s with all the questions?” Luke asked, kissing all the way down Craig’s breastbone.  
“I was wondering if you’d like to move in with me, that’s all.”  
The kisses stopped suddenly. Luke propped himself up on one hand and looked down into Craig’s face, his own expression very serious.  
“Do you really mean that?”  
“Well this must be the longest time you’ve spent here in the last couple of months. It seems like a waste of money to keep two places going.”  
Luke’s face fell a little before he said,  
“I suppose it is a bit of a waste.”  
“We can both save a bit of money each month then,” Craig said, getting into his stride. “Perhaps go somewhere exotic for a holiday. There’s loads of good reasons for us to pool resources.”  
Luke swallowed, his head looking fixedly at his own hand, which was stroking, up and down Craig’s chest.  
“Yeah, makes sense,” he agreed.  
“Not all financial reasons, there are others.”  
“Yeah,” Luke agreed again. His voice dropping in volume.  
“The main one being, I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you.”  
“Yeah.”  
The hand paused in its progress.  
“What did you say?” Luke asked.  
Craig couldn’t keep the pretence going any longer. He started laughing. Luke’s face went red and his eyes filled with tears. Two powerful arms grabbed him as Craig rolled them both over, kissing his lover enthusiastically, perceiving his jokey way of asking had hurt Luke immensely.  
“You little idiot, of course I love you,” he said gently. “That’s the only reason I would ever ask anyone to move in with me.”  
Luke searched his face, still looking for the punch line.   
“Really?” Hope lighting his tone.  
“Really.”  
“You git! I thought you were asking me so we could save money than I thought you were laughing at me!” Luke said, half laughing and half crying.  
“Yeah I know. The look on your face was priceless. Sorry Luke but it was funny!”  
“You have got a weird sense of humour,” he said, trying to sound cross but failing.  
“Get used to it,” Craig replied.  
“Not sure I want to spend the rest of my life with you now.”  
“Alright then,” Craig said, making to get up.  
Luke wrapped his arms and his legs around Craig, so he would have to get up with him clinging to him as well. Craig got as far as lifting them both a foot off the ground before falling forward laughing.  
“Are you kidding?” Luke said. “I nearly lost you once through being an idiot, I’m not going to do it again. You’re stuck with me now.”

 

Luke took one more day off then went back into work. He felt fine, his arm was healing well and he was happily looking forward to moving in with Craig. He was a little apprehensive though thinking about the reception he would get if Smiffy had spent the previous two days making mischief for him. However, nothing seemed to be much different. He went to parade and was immediately put on light duties so could look forward to a day helping the custody sergeant. Various members of the relief came through to see how he was. It felt good to have so many good wishes pushed in his direction. Tony was standing talking to him when Sergeant Smith came into the custody suite.  
“PC Ashton, are you holding up members of the relief?”  
“No Sarge,” Luke replied.  
“Was just coming to find you anyway. Thought you might like to know, your queer friend died at St Hughes about half an hour ago.”  
“David?”  
“Yeah, David.” Smith replied.  
“Friend?” Tony questioned.  
“Well, I think he was. Queer friend that is,” Smith said maliciously.  
Tony looked at Luke in complete confusion.  
“Takes one to know one, I suppose, anyway, one less poof to worry about,” Smith added, grinning at Luke.  
Luke saw red. David had just died and Smith was deriding him for his sexuality.  
“You bastard!” Luke yelled, taking a swing at Smith.   
Tony stepped in and held him back.  
“Don’t Luke, he’s winding you up! Don’t let him get to you.”  
“You’re right he’s winding me up, he’s been doing that ever since he got here!” Luke bawled.  
Smith openly grinned at his impotent rage.  
“You’ll just have to find another queer friend now, won’t you, or turn that way yourself?”  
Tony was still holding onto his arms, so he couldn’t strike that hated, grinning face.  
“Yes Smiffy I am gay!” Luke shouted. “Is that what you wanted me to say? And if you hadn’t come barging in when you did David would have put the gun down and surrendered. He was just about to do that when you made a complete mess of it!” Luke ground out harshly, at the top of his voice. “And if you’re the best example of a straight man, I’m glad I am gay!”  
Luke shook off Tony’s restraining hands and stalked back behind the custody desk.  
Smith’s face had gone a curious shade of white. He went even paler when Inspector Gold’s voice cut across the sudden silence.  
“Sergeant Smith, PC Ashton! My office, now!”  
Gina closed the door behind the two men.  
“PC Ashton.”  
“Yes Ma’am.”  
“Nice to see you back here, but I was under the impression I had put you on sick leave until tomorrow?”  
“You did Ma’am, but as I was feeling well I thought I’d come into work.”  
“Very commendable. Before you assist Sergeant Murphy in the custody suite, I want your report from Wednesday written up please. As that unfortunate young man, David, has died, there will now be an inquest. You may also be interested to know Scottish social services have made contact with David’s sister, Maria. It looks likely she will be taken away from her aunt and put into care.”  
Luke’s face relaxed at the news.  
“Thank you for telling me Ma’am.”  
Gina nodded.  
“Sergeant Smith!”  
“Ma’am.”  
“Do you have a problem with homosexuals?”  
“No Ma’am.”  
“It sounded like that to me. You were victimising a fellow officer because of his sexuality.”  
No Ma’am. I didn’t,” Smith stopped and cleared his throat. “I didn’t realise PC Ashton was gay, Ma’am.”  
“Oh, so you only mock homosexuals when they’re not in earshot. Is that it?”  
“No Ma’am.”  
“Tell me Sergeant Smith, have you read the police regulations on discrimination in the workplace?”  
“Yes Ma’am,” Smith replied, swallowing hard.  
“Did you understand them?”  
“Yes Ma’am.”  
“I’m not sure you did, Sergeant Smith and that concerns me. In addition to the rest of your man-management courses I shall be putting you on a refresher for discrimination in the workplace. I suggest you go and start re-reading, in your own time, all the police regulations on all forms of discriminatory behaviour. You shouldn’t have any trouble recognising it, you indulge in it a lot of the time. And if I so much as hear a whisper that you have been disparaging any other officer under your command for their race, creed, colour or sexual preference I will have you investigated by someone from C&D. Do I make myself clear?”  
“Yes Ma’am.”  
“Dismissed. Not you Ashton.”  
Gina waited until the door closed behind Smiffy then said,  
“Sit down, Luke.”  
She continued to look at him before finally saying,  
“Well, that was one hell of a way to come out, Luke.”  
“Yes Ma’am. It wasn’t exactly what I intended,” Luke admitted, squirming a bit under her regard.  
“I’ll bet it wasn’t,” she said leaning back in her chair.   
“Smiffy came over to my flat the evening of the day I got shot. Craig was there as well. He saw us and put two and two together.”  
“Ahh! Well, I just wanted to tell you your transfer has come through. You start at Stafford Row on Monday.”  
Luke’s smile lit up his face. Stafford Row wasn’t too far from where Craig was stationed.  
“There’s one more thing Ma’am. As of this weekend I have a new home address as well.”  
“Might as well update all the paperwork together. Let’s have it.”  
“It’s the same as Craig’s address.”  
Gina stared at him for a moment before saying,   
“Well bang go my drinking and curry nights. If he’s got you at home he won’t want to come out with me!”  
“Why can’t we both come out with you,” Luke cheekily asked.  
“You’re too young for some of the stories we tell! Now get on with your report.”  
“Yes Ma’am.”  
“And Luke,”  
“Yes Ma’am?”  
“Good luck at Stafford Row and well done for what you did out there. I hope it works out for you and Craig.”  
“Thank you Ma’am,” Luke said, quite touched. “Don’t feel you have to stay away from Craig just because I’m living with him.”  
“You don’t seriously think I would, do you?”  
Luke thought for a millisecond.  
“No, Ma’am.”  
“Dismissed, PC Ashton,” she said, getting on with the paperwork.  
Outside Tony was waiting for him, his face worried.  
“Tone?”  
“Was all that true?”  
Luke nodded, wondering what the reaction would be.   
For a few seconds Tony didn’t say anything. Then he nodded.  
“Catch you at refs, Luke.”  
“OK.”  
With some clinical part of his mind, Luke found it almost interesting to note the different reactions to him as news spread around the relief. Gemma grinned at him and whispered,   
“Welcome to the club,” as she left after refs.   
Robbie smiled then looked away.   
Des didn’t change at all but was heard to remark,   
“More totty for the rest of us!”  
Reg was Reg. Nick was indifferent to the news, he had enough problems of his own to cope with, without taking on anyone else’s. Gary Best just kept out of his way. Kerry completely ignored him. Tony saw him at refs and seemed to have decided to ignore it too.  
“Are you OK with this?” Luke asked sotto voce.  
“As long as you don’t try and convert me, what you do in the privacy of your own home it up to you, Luke,” Tony replied. “You are going to have a drink before you go, aren’t you?”  
“I hadn’t thought about it,” Luke admitted.  
“You can’t just up and go to Stafford Row without going for a pint. Tell you what, I’ll pick you up from your place on Saturday night and we’ll all go and have a few bevies and something to eat. How’s that sound?”  
“Sounds fine to me. But I won’t be at the flat, I’m moving.”  
“Where to?”  
“I’m moving in with Craig.”  
“Gilmore? That miserable old bugger! Sorry,” Tony screwed up his eyes and winced. “No offence.”  
“None taken,” Luke assured him, trying not to laugh.

Craig was shattered when he got home from his shift. Luckily Luke had had the forethought to save some food for him. When he’d showered and eaten he felt more human and settled down to watch the news with Luke. Luke waited until the programme finished before asking,  
“You busy Saturday evening?”  
“Thought we were getting your stuff out of your flat?”  
“That won’t take too long, I haven’t got much. I meant Saturday evening. Some of the lads want to go for a farewell drink.”  
“Farewell? Your transfer came through?”  
“Yep. Stafford Row, right next door to you.”  
“That’s great news!”  
“There’s something else as well,” Luke said slowly.  
“Go on.”  
“I, I came out to the relief this morning.”  
Craig sat in stunned silence. He had never expected this.  
“Craig!” Luke called his name for the third time.  
“What?”  
“Aren’t you pleased?”  
“I hope you didn’t do that for me.”  
“No, I didn’t. Smiffy told me David died this morning in hospital.” Craig tightened his hold on Luke.  
“I’m sorry to hear that.”  
“So was I. Then he started going on about him being gay and queer. I tried to hit him but Tony held me back so I told him and the rest of them that I was gay as well.”  
Craig stayed silent.  
“I’ve not made it easy for myself, have I?” Luke asked into the long silence.  
Craig shook his head.  
“No, love. You haven’t.”  
“I also told Gina and Tony I’m living with you.”  
“And Tony’s alright with that?”  
“Seems to be. He’s picking us up on Saturday. Gina’s not impressed. She thinks she won’t be getting any more booze and curry nights out with you because I’m here.”  
Craig laughed.  
“She’ll find a way round it, don’t you worry!” Sobering he asked, “How did Kerry take it?”  
“Not well, I assume.”  
Craig looked at him questioningly.  
“She completely ignores me now.”  
“Oh!”  
Craig hugged him again and said,  
“Well for what it’s worth, I think you were very brave to do what you did.”  
He smiled before saying sadly, “But I should have done it a long time ago. I shouldn’t have hurt either you or Kerry the way that I did. I am sorry for that.”  
“I know.”

Saturday evening started out quiet, Tony, Luke and Craig only in the first pub. Things got steadily more raucous in the next one when half a dozen more of the relief joined them. Smiffy totally surprised Luke when he turned up and bought a round. When he saw him in deep conversation with Craig he nearly fell over with shock, either that or the several pints he’d consumed by that stage of the evening. Food ended up being a takeaway and back to Craig’s. It was a bit cramped in the house as they hadn’t had time to unpack all the boxes of Luke’s stuff which they had shifted out of his flat that day. Tony, Gary and Gemma ate quickly then said their goodbyes. Des fell asleep on the sofa with Reg, so Craig threw a blanket over them and left them where they were. Luke fell asleep sitting on the floor so Craig put him to bed which left Gina and Craig as the last men standing. At that point he rescued his supply of malt from where he had hidden it. They talked and drank for a while, putting the world to rights until Gina said she’d better get off, as dawn was creeping along the horizon.  
“Don’t need to,” he enunciated carefully. “’made up the spare bed for you.”  
“Thank you Craig, that was kind of you.”  
“No problem,” he replied, waving away her gratitude then gratefully he fell into bed beside Luke.


End file.
